‘Is Bigger Always Better?’ Contest Winners

We measured you up and found the best, not necessarily the biggest, entries. Thanks to everyone who commented for a chance to win the iPhone 6 Plus. We had a really hard time picking out the best member, but here are the winners.

Biggest & Best – Morgan with the “Bigger, yes, is often better” limerick. Congrats, you’re the winner of the new iPhone 6 Plus! Check out the winning post below:

Bigger, yes, is often better.

Bigger drinks get throats much wetter.

Bigger Sherpa’s orders sate

Desires that need bigger plates.

Bigger meats are often tender

(Pleasurable for either gender)

And satisfy where doth they go–

In holes above or down below.

A several-course meal can be gripping,

Leaving your date gorged and dripping.

A bigger chance now fast arises

To recommend some exercises.

Bigger meals make pants fit slimmer,

And though that leaves you feeling grimmer

There’s great news–and I’ll be brief–

Bigger sh**s yield big relief.

Yet smaller too can be a pleasure

Depending what you choose to measure.

But measurement’s an easy fix

With ruler apps on iPhone 6.

(And if name accuracy’s a must–

I meant “iPhone 6 f**kin’ plus.”)

 

We had some runner-ups as well, take a look:

Short & Simple – Mark with his “I’d rather Choke on greatness than nibble on mediocrity” post.

Titilating & Teasing – Loges with the poem: “Ode to the 6”

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