Win A Fixie Bike From Factory Five

Friday

Aug

30

By:David A. Howard

Another month, another huge contest. Forget about new-fangled shiny gadgets. This time it’s old school. We’ve got a 7,500 rmb fixed gear bike up for grabs from the guys over at Factory Five. Learn more about them and check out their killer bikes here: http://wearefactoryfive.com/ . Now, all you have to do for your chance to win is just answer this simple question-

“What is the hierarchy on the road, and why?”

We’ll choose the funniest/most creative/crazy answer to win. (Bonus points for including Sherpa’s and fixies).

Send your answers to: competition@sherpa.com.cn

Or add them as a comment on our blog: blog.sherpa.com.cn.

The contest ends on September 30th, 2013 so get your answers to us before that.

Remember, if your idea about getting around town involves taxis and McDonald’s, you can always sell the bike and buy some DVDs or something.
Good luck!

Order Sherpa‘s Online: www.sherpa.com.cn

2

78 Comments

  1. The hierarchy is thus- if you are part of the hi-vis witches clan, carrying around brooms you can wander wherever you like, picking up rubbish, sweeping up dirt, and generally making China a better place. They are closely followed by the well feared water blaster trucks. Complete disregard for all traffic, both on foot and wheel. Thinks it is providing a service, actually spraying reconstituted phlegm and filth over everyone. Next come the E- bike gangs- whether looking for a quick payout, or riding five to a bike, These guys have no fear nor morals. But kudos to the side saddle girls going 80kph. Next, the Lycra clad middle aged men. No amount of fat rolls or embarrassment will stop these guys from wearing outfits that make them look like a cross between a clown and a McDonald’s happy meal box. Now the big boys- the trucks. Drivers with little regard for themselves, let alone others, they only fail to be higher up the list due to the lack of speed some of them generate carrying rocks the size of houses to place upside down beside hotels. The little cars follow next, with the new driver inside. Little regard for e road rules, more concerned about making sure they look cool wearing their new ray bans and designer dresses. Look good, die young! In second place I have to go with the taxi. Exhibiting a vengeance mentality mixed with insane music and a cancer habit that would make a nun feint, these guys only lose out to my most feared guys due to a lack of horse power. In first place, the personal driver, When the passengers have been dropped off. Not only do these guys have a beast of a machine to drive, they also have insurance! I’m not sure Buick intended the cars to be able to fly, but they hold a certain grace as they soar over the many bridges throughout Suzhou. You go, personal driver!

  2. 1) The vehicle I’m driving is larger than yours, and I don’t own it.

    2) The vehicle I’m driving is smaller then yours, but I don’t own it.

    3) I own the piece of junk I am driving.

    4) I love driving my brand-new vehicle.

    5) I’m driving a scooter /e-bike/ fixed-gear bicycle and I’m not afraid to die

    6) I’m a pedestrian and I’m not afraid to die.

    7) I’m driving a scooter /e-bike/ fixed-gear bicycle and I’d like to remain alive.

    8) I’m a pedestrian and I’d like to remain alive.

    9) I’m a mother pushing a baby in a carriage and we’d both like to remain alive.

    10) I’m a pregnant mother pushing a baby in a carriage and we’d all like to remain alive.

  3. Once upon a time, there was a land full of bicycles.
    It was a good fair land, with the exception of unhappy men standing on circles in the middle of the street waving their hands and whistling at bicycles merrily ignoring them.

    All was good (except when it rained of course, as no-one likes the rain).

    One day the men that stood in circles, decided that they wanted pretty lights to make them happier.
    So all over town, they raised a veritable christmas tree of lights, they had a yellow one, a red one, and a green one. For green was a good color, and it made everyone happy.

    Everyone liked the lights – the green one was the happiest light of all, and it made everyone smile. The yellow one was good too, as it made everyone go faster, but no-one liked the red lights, as they were boring and took forever to change to the happy color.

    For a while, all was good. The lights were a fun distraction, and in time people even got used to the red one, although it was never a favourite. The men in circles even made themselves little houses on their circles so they wouldn’t get rained on, as no-one likes rain. This made them a little happier, but they were still grumpy, and still whistled and waved their hands, the bicycles just ignored them though, as they were silly moo-moo’s.

    There was trouble brewing in this fair land though.
    The evil twin’s named Mr Blue truck, and Mr Bus had heard about this veritable land of paradise, and also wanted to come play. Mr Bus and Mr Blue truck didn’t care for the lights, or for the men in circles, or for the bicycles. They just wanted to drive around and squish things, and for a while, thats what they did.
    The men in circles and the bicycles learned to become afraid of the twins, as they didn’t want to get squashed, and squashing was really fun for Mr Bus and Mr Blue Truck.

    After much squashing, the bicycles and the people on circles, ran around, complained and protested around town with their trumpets, making a loud noise, and upsetting the sleeping people.
    Trumpets were immediately banned, as is the nature of such things, and the sleeping people woke up, and roamed the streets. They even started getting in the way of the bicycles and Mr Bus and Mr Blue Truck, both of whom, it should be said, were quite partial to squishing, although they really preferred bicycles.

    The evil twins liked the noisy trumpets, and ran around playing them wherever they went. The bicycles, and sometimes even the people soon learned to run away when they heard the trumpets, and for a while all was good again, although the evil twin’s Mr Bus and Mr Blue truck did miss squashing things. They still caught the odd people here and there though and squished them, so it was ok (if you weren’t people).

    The people were unhappy though. Why should the bicycles and the men in circles, and even the twins have all the fun. The people weren’t very smart, but they got together and made a stinky bicycle they called vroom vroom. It went fast, but it made stinky poops all over.

    Although it was stinky, the bicycles saw that the stinky vroom vroom was fun, so, except for a few die hards, they threw away all their bicycles and started vroom vrooming around.

    The men with whistles got grumpier again, as their little houses out of the rain were now stinky, and covered in smoke. The twins didn’t really care, as they had new things to squish. Only the bicycles were sad.

    It still rained though, and no-one likes rain.

    So, the people thought about things, and saw Mr Bus and Mr Blue Truck didn’t get wet. They were evil though, so the people thought some more and came up with the idea of making smaller versions. These were called cars.

    The richer people threw away their vroom vrooms, as they were a wasteful silly people, and bought cars. The twins were happy, as they now had new things to squish, a veritable menagerie of choices, and
    the people in cars started to think they were better than the bicycles, and the vroom vrooms, as the twins really were evil, and this heinous evil had seeped into the smaller cars. The people in cars started copying the evil twins, and playing squish squish also.

    The people in circles just sighed and whistled at things, as this was their nature.

    And so it was, the twins ran around squishing everyone while playing trumpet, the cars ran around avoiding the twins, and playing squish squish with the bicycles and the vroom vrooms when the men in circles weren’t looking (as they were afraid of the men with whistles), and the vroom vrooms just vroom vroomed around. The bicycles and the people still didn’t like each other, but they were more afraid of the big evil twins and the smaller evil cars. No-one liked the red lights, as they were still boring.

    And the rain?
    No-one likes the rain.

  4. “I imagine it is legal for you to run in the road (in the sense that it is permitted) but you shouldn’t do it because you don’t have a right of way. Cars have the right of way.

    There was a middle aged twit running in the road in Richmond Park against the traffic one Saturday afternoon three years ago. I signalled to him with my arm as I approached on my bike that he was to get out of my way. He only just jumped onto the verge in time to avoid getting mown down by me. He called me an idiot. I told him he was the idiot and shouldn’t be in the road. He said, “What does the Highway Code say then?” I told him it said pedestrians can use the road carriageway IF there is no footpath available, but as there are dozens of footpaths available in the park, he has no rights in respect of the road and shouldn’t be on it. I followed him for a bit after that. He continued to use the road until he nearly knocked down a group of pedestrians trying to cross the road who were, understandably, looking the other way, towards the traffic, not expecting a runner to be coming the other way against the traffic, and didn’t see him coming. He then switched to using the footpath instead. He then continued on the footpath rather than the road until he left the park.

    It baffles me that some runners think, because they are training for a road-running event, they should be running in on busy public roads (the carriageway, not the pavement) in order to train. I believe they shouldn’t, and they may lose a claim if a car hits them, because they shouldn’t be there in the first place.

    It’s also an unforgiving surface to train on. Far better to run on soft.

    If you live in an area where the roads don’t have pavements, consider buying a running machine and r
    unning at home.”

  5. The Hierarchy is : (specially when someone breaking the rules)
    1. When someone driving a huge truck and then hit a car smaller than him, the driver from smaller car will got blame and held responsible because he keeps driving while he knows it’s a big truck. (eventhough he is not breaking the rules..)

    2. When someone driving a car and then hit a motorcycle, the one who is wrong is the motorcycle. Why..?? Because motorcycle often breaking the rules.. Run smoothly wherever he is and in any condition… even in traffic jam

    3. When someone riding a motorcycle and hit a bicycle.. Bicycle gonna be wrong.. Because he is riding on the street and not in a bike line..

    4. So.. How about pedestrian..?? Whoever who hit the pedestrian, no matter it’s a truck or a car or a motorcycle & bike… Pedestrian is always the winner… Pedestrian will never be the guilty because there’s a rule for pedestrian ” Please concern with your left and right side before crossing the road..” ( even though sometimes they didn’t do it)

  6. I don’t understand the question. There is no “hierarchy of the roads.” There are traffic laws and well defined rules of right of way that are carefully observed and uniformly enforced.

    There is no “hierarchy of the roads.”

          1. Yes, I am currently in China; I have been here several years. And no, sacrcasm does not communicate well in a pure text environment.

  7. Hey Sherpas,

    Here is the answer to the question “What is the hierarchy on the road, and why?”

    The bikes really dominate the roads, being able to weave in and out of small spaces and zoom ahead. The traffic lights seem to be more of a suggestion for cyclists and e-bikers, and this results if people making sure to give them lots of space as they zoom by. Taxis, cars, and pedestrians better watch out as they make their way around the city.

  8. In the beginning God created the earth. Then God said, ‘Let there be road’; and there was road. God saw that the black asphalt was good, and He created all kinds of creatures to get around the streets.

    One of them was the lazy pedestrian, a sort of walking monkey. He soon jumped down from the sidewalk and evolved into the Homo Bicicletus.

    Well, so the cyclists lived in harmony for a while. They avoided pedestrians and skidded on the crosswalks with their fixies.

    But the Devil created the trees on the bicycle path and the cyclists crashed. And the Devil also created the cars so that the cyclists had to stop sometimes -and that is not fun.

    Then God created Sherpa’s to restore the balance.

    Meanwhile the pedestrians, who were ambitious, joined their forces. They hired workmen to work on the streets.

    And the workmen with their yellow helmets took the control. They closed whole strets, opened manhole covers, put construction fences, cut down the trees and painted on the road.

    Look out, there are many more creatures out there. This is the hierarchy on the road!
    1. The workman
    2. Sherpa’s
    3. The car
    4. The tree in the bicycle path
    5. The cyclist
    6. The pedestrian

  9. How to drive in Shanghai, a limerick:

    Rules of the road, there are two
    Hit nothing, and let nothing hit you
    But when flash of orange drives by
    With piping hot food inside
    Do the right thing and let him through

  10. The hierarchy is quite simple, first of all you have to consider that BEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP BEEEP er, moreover any othe BEEEEEEEEEEEPPP HOONK

    Secondly, whenever someone elBEEEEEEEEEE BEEEE BEEEP DENGDENGDENG

    Finally, just BEEEEP around: you’ll notice how DENGDENG WEIBOLUO,KONGTIAO,DIANSHI,DENGDENG BEEEEEEEEEEEEPBEEEP

    Easy.

    PS. Where’s my food? ;P

  11. Hierarchy of the road? Never argue with a bus. If it had testicles it would be a bull. You can’t cut someone off if he cannot see you, and as was said in the Butch Cassidy movie: “there ain’t no rules in a knife fight”.

    The winner in America is the New York City bike messenger on a fixie. I learned to ride across four lanes of traffic against the light from watching these guys. They cruise down the painted line between lanes, armed only with a heavy chain wrapped ’round their waist. Even yellow cabs avoid them. They are allied with the buses, like tick birds with the rhinoceros.

    http://vimeo.com/43954522

  13. Dear Sherpa’s,

    Below is my entry describing the hierarchy of the roads! Please excuse any pronunciations that seem strange- I wrote this with an Australian/British accent!

    My cycling begins in a refuge from ’jams,
    In a nice, sleepy campus of scooters and prams,
    I’m quick to forget the mad world out there,
    As Sherpa’s rush by without worry or care.
    Riding a Phoenix with fixed-gear and rust,
    Tension flows to my shoulders, as soon leave, I must:
    For at the main gate, the chaos will start,
    A world of grim cars before which bikes must part;
    Like a school of small fish, between buses they weave,
    As riding alone brings terror and grief.
    For only before an assembly of bikes
    Will the dreaded red cabs back down at the lights.
    Alone with your pedals you haven’t a shot,
    But with safety in numbers, you’ll pass by the lot!

    Though scooters are often a bike-rider’s friend,
    When they peel off to work, your protection does end.
    Motorbikes are both blessing and curse,
    As those ear-splitting horns make each moment seem worse.
    Those Audis give way if they see that you’re white,
    But sometimes it seems they just turn out of spite.
    If buses aren’t stopped just pause, spit and cough,
    For that speeding bulk could finish you off!
    You’d think that police would be kings of Shanghai,
    But more often than not, people speed on right by.
    A diplomat’s car brings the caution of fear,
    As no witless VeeDub wants to go near.
    Walkers are best left out of our frame,
    As they tend to give ‘stupid’ a shining new name.
    No driver would stop unless there’s a crowd,
    But as they surge forth those horns get more loud.

    The bikes can glide forth with a glance right and left,
    And ignore all red lights if they’re brave and adept.
    Without that first lag that slows scooters down,
    It seems biking is best to get ‘round the town.
    Just keep your eyes peeled and one gear at its limit,
    And if you are careful, you might well just win it.
    For cars will rust up and batteries might die,
    Even brave Sherpa’s bikes must soon say ‘goodbye’.
    But ‘Forever Bikes’; that name is no lie,
    They weave through the traffic, and pass it all by.
    Hierarchies rise and successions might change,
    But bikes will always still be all the rage.

    So weave as you will, and watch like a hawk,
    Face down those buses and all those who walk.
    Invest in a bell, or beeper or horn,
    And as you sweep by, with grace do forewarn:
    A bike passes by on the flat Shanghai streets,
    Its mission as fixed as the gear ‘neath your feet!

    Thanks a lot for the competition, and the deliveries!

  14. It is the first guideline I give my visitors to Shanghai -WATCH OUT! ‘People’ are the last in the Transport chain here!
    The hierarchy is Trucks, Buses, Taxis, Cars, Bikes, then Pedestrians, in that order. No matter where you are, whether it’s a Green light or a Red light, a one way street, or not. Always look both ways before you cross the road. As a pedestrian, you are not safe 😉 Even on the foot path!!!
    Visitors tend to be surprised by this statement. “Really?”, they ask. “Surely not.” But with their heads in the clouds looking up at the sights, that first time they nearly get bowled over by the Bus, or silent electric bike they didn’t hear coming – they are so grateful they remembered my tip!

  15. A road like no other

    It was a sunny Friday, I waked up at 9am followed by a shower to wake me well and widen my small eyes !
    I put on a pair of pants , a shirt , I take my backpack and I climb on my Fixie to go to work . I usually put 15 minutes to go to my office, but …. that day , I took longer than expected!
    I avoid anything that looks pedestrian, who don’t see at their right or at their left , I zig -zag between taxis and buses that can knock me at any time because they don’t look at anything and they also have a bodywork to protect them; a red light I continue to ride and i never stop me, because my goal to ride a fixie , it’s never set foot on the ground! I bypass two cars at the intersection and continue my way quietly while following twenty scooter which engages in Changshou Lu, I avoid traffic jam and go to Anuyan Lu!
    I find myself behind the famous Chinese truck without brakes and a 4×4 … the truck stop at the curb and 4X4 bypasses and stops suddenly, I was close to the 4X4 so I deviate on the left and a ” scooter with garbage ” rushed over me . With my instinct , I took off my feet of footrests in order not to get stuck in Fixie … and in the movement , I met dumpster with the scooter !
    I saw my hand with a huge gash into the muscle and I knew that this day would not be mundane .
    I said one thing : “Do not black out and let’s go to the hospital! ”
    I raised my Fixie with twisted handlebars, I wore with my right hand , I then mounted on a scooter of a chinese nice and asked him to take me to my office 600 meters while having a bleeding arm and my bike in the others hands .
    Arriving at the elevators , I fainted for two minutes in the middle of a crowd of people . I regained consciousness and I thought it was a bad dream …
    I did not wait for the ambulance arrived and I took a taxi with my hand first blood to a hospital that could not cure me , another taxi to a second hospital could not help me either , and last hospital where I was stitched up after a few hours of waiting without anesthesia …

    A strong emotional day … I went home and two things made me happy in this gloomy day :
    -internet was installed during the day !
    – I could order a delicious falafel burger at Beef & Liberty on Sherpa !

    I have three weeks to recover until the end of September and I can not cook … Sherpa is my best friend!!! I’m not longer the King of the Road but I’ll come back soon on the Fixie again!

  16. First thing you do when on the road
    Look to your left, then look to your right
    Depending on your transportation mode
    Getting around in Shanghai is one big fight

    If a car’s plate is black and white
    The dude in there is a government chap
    Keep your head down, get yourself out of sight
    If you mess with him, he’ll roughen you up

    When you hear a loud blaring siren blast
    It’s an ambulance, going really really fast
    Give them the road, they need to save a life
    It could be your neighbor, or your boss’s wife
    Then we have luxury cars of the fu er dai
    They’re usually blinged out and tacky
    As they pass, it makes you wonder why oh why
    But beware: these kids can get psycho-killer-wacky

    Motorcycles are fourth on the list
    They’re not big but they’re hard to miss
    Especially the jolly, bright orange Sherpa’s fellow
    I can’t help but smile and say hello 😀

    I always let them pass, starving people unite
    So when the time comes that I’m waiting for my food
    Karma will strike and others will be as polite
    They’ll let my orange boy pass, muchos gracias dude!
    Bicycles can come at you from out of nowhere
    Sexy fixie kids flaunting those sexy slim wheels
    Usually with neon rims, making everyone stare
    I drool with envy and wonder how it feels 🙁

    They move gracefully, in and out of traffic
    Faster than the cars and never stuck in one place
    Fixie kids seem to have some kind of fixie dust or magic
    Zipping around happily as I stare into space

    Finally we have the pedestrians around
    They always get hit, from the left and from the right
    Always getting honked at, loud angry sound
    The only way they can cross is by running the red light

    Shanghai streets can be dangerous and scary
    We always gotta look left + right + front + back
    The best defense is to be a fixie fairy
    It’s the easiest way to stay on track!

    <3

  17. The first time I scaled Everest, the rules of the road were simple. I attained a lowly sherpa with an incredibly high red blood cell count to guide me in my travels, I stabbed my family banner at the peak, and slid down along my merry way.

    One should always finish their scaling of Everest on Christmas. You can just about see Mr. Claus and his little green-vested friends from there.

    But the second time was more recent. In a new era of immense simplicity. My sherpa, another well endowed(with respect to hemoglobin levels) man, took me down a very different road with rules dictated by a disembodied, shrill female voice. Yes, he relied on this unknown Himalayan goddess, Siri, to take us to the very highest peak of the world. I questioned his bizarre practice, but he told me to embrace her infinite knowledge. He through her told me to mount a bike. That would be the fastest way up the mountain. We trusted her every direction and after two blustery, painstaking months, I arrived again at the peak.

    This time, four other men stood with me. The five of us joined hands in profound accomplishment. And then it happened. Five women began jabbering. We’d done what we set out to, but this goddess had split like that of a Hydra and kept telling us to sidestep, one left, one right. Upon tripping over each and every one of each other’s feet, we tumbled, in unison. The sherpas below us roared a cacophonous melody of laughter.

    The myth goes that the sherpas reclaimed their position at the very tip of the top of Everest, as we continued our descent. Suddenly, that which seemed supernatural became grounded and pedestrian. The Sherpas soon sped past us on the same bikes we had rode to the top. Once down, we mere mortal, non-Sherpas let Siri guide us to the nearest hospital where we resided for two months.

    When you want to know the rules of the road, you best ask a Sherpa.

  19. From highest to lowest form:

    1. Guy with 100 foam coolers loaded on his bike and running into power lines.
    2. Mobile KFC – live chickens on the right, deep fryer on the left.
    3. Sherpas Delivery…Simply Thai, of course (why did CPK take Thai Chicken pizza off the menu?)
    4. Ex-pat riding Cannondale Six Carbon 1 (much better bike than rider) in wet market (really…why?)
    5. Red Bull wanna be curb jumper thing with no seat
    6. Mopeders honking horn to advise you they are running the red light
    7. Uh…how do you say rest room in Mandarin? Hurry up !@#$ Google translate!
    8. Anyone within 50 feet (sorry…15.24 meters) of a bus stop
    9. Guy with loudspeaker on bike (I think he is saying, “Bring out your dead”?)
    10. Lance Armstrong

  20. hey that’s what i thing its the answer to your question on the competition
    the meaning of hierarchy

    categorizes roads according to their functions and capacities ,that means different capacity of cars i.e tracks
    need to use a different lane it ,comprises freeways,arterial s, collectors, and local roads

  21. What is the Hierarchy on the road, and why?
    From the most important to the less important:
    1) S…ensual creatures, as they are the only remaining natural nice thing to look at in a highly polluted Shanghai
    2) H…omo erectus, as we need him to take care of Sensual creatures and insure earth’s future generations
    3) E…lectric Sherpa scooters (this would be a great idea, in line with Sherpa’s image), as without them we can’t feed Sensual Creatures and Homo Erectus, and hence we cannot insure earth’s future generations
    4) R…eal bikers, not the ones who bikes on Sunday morning to buy the bread
    5) P…edestrians as they should better use an Electric Sherpa Scooter (as soon as Sherpa will buy some)
    6) A…utomobiles as they should leave our landscape and leave our pixies in peace

  23. The hierarchy of the Shanghai road is simple and straightforward. Anything goes. But never…and I repeat never, fuck with buses. You can play chicken with taxis, weave your fixie through 5 lines of traffic on Xujiahui Lu in peak hour, bomb it down the wrong way of any main road in the city. But if you don’t give way to buses you will end up squished all over the pavement. They stop for no-one – pedestrians, cyclists, other motorists.
    As for the bottom of the hierarchy, it’s definitely pedestrians, especially the ones who walk out blindly in front of cyclists. In fact, while I’m riding along and someone walks out in front of me I will make a point of speeding towards them like they are a bowling pin, only to just miss them at the very last second. Maybe if they get a fright they will quit walking out onto the road with zero awareness.
    To be honest, after Shanghai buses I think number 2 on the road are cyclists. We rarely wait for red lights as we can always find a way to sneak across before the cars. We force motorists to give way to us as many Chinese cyclists are extremely erratic or on the contrary, ride extremely extremely slow.

    TLDR: Buses win as they don’t give way for any man woman or child, I give permission to all to go head-on for the lowest in the hierarchy – errant pedestrians, us cyclists are sitting pretty after buses and we give way to no-one (except buses).

  26. I am the Queen of the Road. Me, on my bright blue with kid seat soccer mom bike. When those clowns turning left start cutting me off, I look straight ahead, with a ting-bu-dong devil-may-care look in my eye and just keep on a’peddling. Yeah, I play the waiguoren card, why not? Seriously! What else can I do? One of these days, when I’m taking the kiddo to school on the back of my ride, I’m going to whip out a realistic looking light saber, complete with sound, while blasting some AC/DC from the boom box in my front-mounted grocery basket. We’ll see who gives me a little personal road space then. I’ve seen a few peeps sporting those cool looking Fixies. They take my back to my Queen of the Playground days with my Huffy Kool Kitten bike; with banana seat, sissy bar and smaller front wheel – the ultimate in 5th grade girl coolness. If I only had that Kool Kitten now, I know every bus, taxi, BMW, QQ car, scooter and Forever Shanghai 2-wheeler would clear the road for me, Queen of the Playground, Mom on a Mission.

  27. dear Sherpa,
    Q: what is the hierarchy on the road and why?
    A:hierarchy is like bumpy road because so many people eat junk food and drinks beer made hierarchy on d road

  28. The hierarchy on the streets is defined by the so call HOTS factor (Hierarchy On The Streets):
    HOTS=S x N where S is the size of the vehicle and N is the noise or loudness of the horn. With that it becomes evident that trucks and busses with their ear-shattering horns are on top. Pedestrians and cyclists are on the other side of the spectrum where even yelling does not help much. The rest is in between where it should be noted that scooters seem to invisible to car drivers.

  29. Spongebob Squarepants and Kurt Vonnegut went for a bike ride (fixies of course) to ponder this question. Fueled by espresso and potato chips, the ride began. Bicycles are time machines as such but only in the three dimensions most humans recognize when awake. Kurt, being experienced with as many as seven dimensions, knows differently. Drafting off Spongebob’s rear wheel, the first 10 miles passed quickly despite the numerous intersections between Hongqiao and the river.

    One might be tempted to answer the question of “hierarchy of the road” in three dimensional human speak such as carbon is better than aluminum, aluminum is better than steel, and so on. By the same approach, cars, buildings and people could likewise be put into their phylum. Noting this, and communicating telepathically to each other, it was agreed humans could not answer the question. The “biker’s high” from the 90 RPM cadence coupled with existential thought made both men smile.

    Cut-off by a red-light running and taped together moped, Spongebob fell and hit is head on the curb. He awoke in the late 1800’s atop a large front-wheeled, human-powered riding machine. It was the original fixie only it was not called by that then. Dodging horse-drawn carts and the undulations of un-paved roads, Spongebob quickly again found his square head struck against man’s attempt at controlling things. This time a fence post.

    Awake again, he found himself riding tandem with Kurt on a moon of Saturn. It was colonized by earthlings (now no longer called that as it was considered offensive) after the “same road, same rules world war of 2075” had rendered Earth uninhabitable. This maglev bike was powered by human energy instead of the Vegamotion fuel cell invented in 2349. The rotating crank essentially spun a magnet which created the levitation and forward motion at the same time. No brake was required. Simply stop peddling thought Kurt and of course, Spongebob heard him.

    Unfamiliar with the terrain and reverse polarity of gravity of Saturn’s moon, Spongebob again crashed thus hitting his head and triggering time travel through the seven dimensions most earthlings, sorry…I should say “inner solar system ex-pats”, could not experience. At that point, the answer was clear. After all, clarity of thought was a result of a good bike ride.

    So to the question, not of “why”, because the answer is universally taught to us at a young age by our parents to be “because I said so”, but rather to the hierarchy of the road. It is clear. In human-speak, a hierarchy implies something is better than another, which does not apply in bike riding. The hierarchy is the journey, the people you meet, and the place where one plus one equals three, where man plus machine reach a place individually they cannot. It is all good. And so it goes.

  30. My grandpa used to say: “if you drive smaller vehicle your priority on the road, may only be priority to end up in heaven…”

  31. What about the hierarchy on the road? Panda first, of course, no matter in China or other countries, because it is so rare and expensive! Better car, higher class, you should avoid when a Ferrari pass, just like to take off, or, you wanna a hit-and-run? Last is us, because there are so many people, when a thing is rare, it becomes precious, vice versa, especially in China.

  32. The way I see it… If Sherpa’s is carrying my food… they get the extream right of way and are the kings of the road… After that, it’s every man/bike/Taxi for themselves.. But please, yeild to the Sherpas… Hungry people are depending on them!!

  35. Fixed Happiness: The Hierarchy of the Road

    I’d rather cry on an F550 than laugh in your BMW.

    I’ll get there faster in the rain, than you in the taxi queue.

    I’ll ride the sidewalk like a boss, when you hog the pavement with a monster.

    I’ll be home ordering Sherpas, while you are stuck cursing in a jam.

    I’ve learned the secret of happiness: the happiest people in the world ride by choice.

  36. My views about the royal family of these roads are too negative, but I always feel a pleasant warmth when I see that Sherpa’s guy on the road, because he’s on the road the bring happiness to someone 😀

  37. Hi mates! My name is Victor and I’m from Russia. So here’s the hierarchy in Soviet way:

    1. Mr Putin ridin no matter what or just walkin. THEY SEE ME ROLLIN, THEY HATIN
    2. Sherpa’s delivery dude riding a fixie (c-c-c-c-combo breaker!), cuz mr P needs smth to eat.
    3. Sherpa’s special escort, 6 trained people in Pussy Riot balaclavas ridin fixies (each bodyguard’s balaclava color matches fixie color). It’s a state order!
    4. Bam Margera ridin a supermarket trolley. Just to make this shit look jackass.
    5. Ambulance. For the case, in which delivery dude falls off the fixie or mr P chokes or Bam gets hit in the balls.
    6. “The Hives” ridin the stage-like truck. To add some badass soundtrack for the motion.
    7. Fans on scooters. To watch the road-show.
    8. Kids on skateboards. (Mommy! When I grow up i wanna be lika that Sherpa’s guy!)
    9. Their parents on cars. It’s unsafe for kids to be on the road alone!
    10. Peter Jackson holding the camera and filming probably the most epic movie in our history.
    11. Popes ridin horses. To make the shit HOLY!
    12. Grannies and grandpas sitting at home and watching the show on TV.
    13. Police. ACAB

    Sorry for bad English -_-
    Thx.

    Great thx for deliveries you made)

  38. 5. Pedestrians: Move it or lose it, make room for the big boys! Unless you are a sherpas delivery pedestrian then, all hail his greatness, bow before your god! Normally though, they can be intimidated with the threat of a potentially painful death. Therefore they can be pushed around.

    4. Bicycles: They are fast and agile, especially fixes, however their limited size and lack of power drop them down to the bottom half of the hierarchy.

    3. Cars: They are like ants here, one can easily be avoided, however when they are in swarms they own the roads. Did someone say illegal maneuver…..swarms don’t follow laws, THEY ARE THE LAW!

    2. Busses/Trucks: Now things are getting serious… Their dominance comes from their size and complete lack of remorse for the swine that only seem to get in their way. It might take a while for them to get some speed going but once it has been achieved there is no stopping them…seriously….dodge, dip, dive, duck, and dodge!

    1. Motor Bikes/ Scooters: We are not at the apex of supreme dominance. You might think they go against my earlier logic of size = strength However, you are forgetting the teachings of history…. How taller have most dictators been…..lets find out….

    Stalin = 5’4″ (1.63 meters)
    Napoleon Bonaparte = 5’7″ (1.70 meters)
    Kim Jong-Un =5’6″ (1.68 meters)

    We all know that true power comes the disease known as’ vertical deficiency’. If you are small its hard to see or notice you as you quickly and slyly slide right on past all potential threats, ie other vehicles. Their knowledge of the roads, maneuverability and size easily make them the heavyweight champions.

    But one motor bike rises amid the others as the galactic emperor and that of course is the Sherpas delivery man. Why, you ask?? Its simple they have the drive and determination that the other champs don’t have. They are tasked with the sacred duty of delivering the masses the food they crave with speed and percision and in a timely matter. This allows them to KO all the other contenders and thus are our true leaders of the roads!

  39. As you can see, the hierarchy on the road in Shanghai is a random and chaotic stream of impulses. Size matters. Sound matters. You will notice (look, hear and feel) the biggest and noisiest first. What you can not see here are those who truly command the road: fixies. Discrete, unnoticeable and omnipresent. Now if you look closer, really closer… I said CLOSER…. maybe you can see your Sherpa’s delivery on his way ///-

    Autumn Rhythm (Number 30) by Jackson Pollock

  40. Hello Sherpa Team,

    In regards to competition question: “What is the hierarchy on the road, and why?”, I would like to present my answer with a link to a movie attached:

    Without a doubt there is only one true King of the roads in China. His skills are shown in the movie from the link below. He is on top of hierarchy and then there is all the rest,… the King does not care about what stands on His way, He and His 2 wheels machine are fearless. He usually smashes through any obstacles which stand on His way and that is why He is on the TOP. If He somehow can’t smash through, sooner or later He always finds a way to pass obstacles and dominate the road again (just like in the movie). The Man in the White Shirt in the movie from the link below is the Ultimate King …and then, all the rest! Please enjoy

    视频: @家庭幽默录像 6.30周日版预告短片_史上最奇葩的摩托车事故
    http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNTc2MDM2MDI4.html

  41. back in the Philippines, we call the kalesa (horse carriage) the king of the road. its because when the horse needs to go (pee), the horse needs to go! so all traffic would stop for it.
    I think in any country, the softer you are, the higher you are in the heirarchy.
    man (highest)
    bike
    scooter
    motor cycle
    car
    truck and buses (lowest)
    even with street rules, this always prevails!

  42. The road hierarchy is simple – there is no hierarchy. Hierarchy requires structure but Shanghai’s roads are such a convoluted mess that he who is bravest/boldest/most aggressive wins (and sometimes loses).

  43. The Secret to Happiness:

    The bigger the vehicle, the more the sense of entitlement, the more dangerous to others – physically and environmentally.
    The smaller and lighter, the faster…
    The fixie breaks the rules, gets there first and causes injury to no one.

    Countries that embrace the bike – by choice, not necessity – are the happiest in the world.

    I’d rather cry on an F550, than laugh in a BMW.

    Happy people ride bikes – by choice!

  44. Fixed Happiness: The Hierarchy of the Road

    I’d rather cry on an F550 than laugh in your BMW
    I’ll get there faster in the rain than you will in the taxi queue
    I’ll ride the sidewalk like a boss, when you hog the pavement with your monster
    I know exactly how long the journey will take me, while you can only guess
    I’ll be home ordering Sherpas, while you are still stuck cursing in a jam
    I’ve learned the secret to happiness – sometimes less really is more
    Happy people ride bikes – by choice!

    PS. I rewrote my first entry, this is the final edit!

  45. Shanghai road hierarchy:

    – Foreigners
    – Kids
    – Cats
    – Dogs
    – Push bikes
    – Electric scooters
    – Gas scooters
    – Regular cars
    – Taxis
    – Fake Taxis
    – Trucks
    – Buses
    – Grandmas on e-bikes

    The rule for the list is: if it’s below you, it can kill you. Grandma trumps all.

  47. 5. At the bottom of the food chain, the fixie rider. They live by their reflexes. The ones that don’t, wind up in a full body cast with the Sherpas delivery guy as their only source of sustenance.

    4. Pedestrian with the cell phone. Brimming with self importance, he leisurely wanders the middle of the intersection as he chats. Eyes fixed on the clouds, he’s certain you’ll just go around him.

    3. The bus driver. All of these guys are wannabe Nascar racers. Guess how much damage those hulks would sustain while plowing through you and your state-the-art, titanium-framed fixed gear? None at all.

    2. The Black Audi A6. Don’t ask. Just move. Do you KNOW who I am?

    1. And at the very top of the food chain, the Wizened Granny. She survived the cultural revolution and she certainly has no need of those fancy newfangled “traffic lights” that are apparently all the rage these days.=

  48. Hello Sherpa Team,

    In regards to competition question: “What is the hierarchy on the road, and why?”, I would like to present my below:

    Absolute World Champion of all Roads was Mr Anonymous from the picture “1” (please see the attachment). He represents the top of the hierarchy. It’s simple: he stopped tanks, can you do the same?
    What happens next with the hierarchy on the roads? The bigger, faster and the one with stronger engine gets to the destination first Rules of the concrete jungle! Amen

  49. When applied to the Shanghai streets, the answer to the age old question – who rules the road? – is a very simple and obvious one. But why start from the top? Let’s work our way up from the bottom, like the industrious folk we are.

    [BOTTOM OF THE BARREL] Scourge of the streets…

    – Naturally, fancy cars driven by the corrupt are the absolute worst. Particularly when they are being driven poorly and without regard to the existence of others/traffic laws. Bonus Awful-Points awarded if mistress/man-stress present. (Fancy cars acquired through honest means are just like other regular cars – i.e boring – and are therefore unmentioned here.)

    – The classic texting-while-jaywalking pedestrian. (Tip: get as close as possible without harming them. Honk. That’ll put a tingle in their trousers.)

    – Dudes driving segways against bike-lane traffic during rush hour.

    – People who block the box.

    – Dark red cabs.

    – Those tree-cleaning trucks that spray whatever-the-hell-that-is in your eyes when you try and pass them on your ill bicycle.

    – That matte-purple BMW always parked on Julu Lu.

    – Longboards.

    – Those blue construction trucks with the white lettering. Good gracious, get out of their way. Now.

    – Public buses. Even more reckless than the construction trucks but ranked higher as they serve The People.

    – Mealbay drivers.

    [RISING TO THE TOP] Approaching greatness…

    – Dudes in small hats riding fixies while drinking Barcadi Breezers and listening to some record you’ve never heard of.

    – The Strictly Cookies delivery guy.

    – Razor Scooters.

    – Babes in small shorts riding fixies while shotgunning Kirins.

    – Those crazy-small skateboards that look ludicrously dangerous.

    – The water dudes with like three dozen empty tongs stacked on their dusty scooters who smoke stogs and talk on their phones through traffic and are unfazed by the sheer magnitude of their undertaking. Props, yo. Respect.

    – Those little three-wheeled doohickeys.

    – Motorcycle taxi drivers that look like they just killed a man.

    – Styrofoam stackers / cardboard carters / bottle barons / street sweepers

    – The rabid, terrifying glory of the bike pack during the Factory Five Tuesday night rides.

    – Old people pushing each other in wheelchairs. Bonus points if wearing matching pajamas/singing.

    [THE PINNACLE] Looking down, benevolently

    The Kings of the Shanghai Streets are the rollerbladers. Such a truth is known.

    However, the One True Lord of the Shanghai Streets will only be crowned when a Sherpa’s delivery guy straps on a pair of magenta blades from the 90s and kuaidi’s a ham sandwich directly to my face. Only then shall we have our One True Lord.

  50. Sherpas, hi – here is how I see it:

    This traffic is a whole ecosystem, and it flows like fish.

    There are the giants, trucks of all shapes and sizes, the whales of the traffic sea that have inertia on their side and demand the caution of everyone else.

    Populating the streets like an invasive species without natural predators are the legions of cabs and other cars. they all jockey for position, thinking as individuals but in reality swimming as a unit, a school of fish.

    The delivery scooters – Sherpas leading the charge – move like rays, gliding with determination and purpose though the swath.

    Gixed gears are nomads, crisscrossing the city effortlessly as the tuna cross oceans. Other traffic is irrelevant to them as they slip through alleys, between cars.

    The other creatures – three wheelers, two wheelers and bipeds – stick to their own kind and find strength in numbers. A large school of these minnows can stop the flow of even the largest giants.

    So the system can be understood – swimmers classified (kingdom / phylum / class / order / family / genus / species), flows mapped, and relationships examined. These streets are alive with a wondrous variety of creatures (like the hermit crab behaviour of styrofoam box collecting three wheelers!) the closer you look, the stranger it gets.

    >RGA

  51. Dear Sherpa’s Team,

    Please find my Hierarchy reasoning below. Also in the text below I would have an idea for your next competition: Create a official hand gesture (sign) to show your appreciation to all sherpa’s on the road. So that they too can see how appreciated they are while on the roads of Shanghai.

    Hierarchy of the Road

    In these days the hierarchy is some is somewhat fluid as there are no clearly defined lines and boarders to keep them apart. So let me try to enlighten you with the wisdom of the streets.

    On the bottom of the food chain would be the western newbie who arrived a few hours, days or weeks and tries to insert himself into traffic, be it on foot, bike or any other motorized vehicle. They are one source of traffic jam as they try to let all pedestrians, bicycles and other two, three or four wheeler pass, cut in and cross the road before they set off.

    The rest seems to be chaos, but within chaos there is some sort of order.

    Top of the list are cars with the infamous black on white number plates, you better jump aside when these speed freaks with no sense for the size of their vehicle come head to head with you. Challenging them to a duel will most likely result in serious health problems.

    Then there are the street cleaners, construction workers and beggars which are the fiercest non motorized participants in this harsh environment we call traffic. They care not about their lives but more about clean roads, working sewers, new or fixed tarmac or the next kuai to get some chow. Hats off to all of you for your courage and hard work.

    Then come bicycles, scooter (electric or motorized), motorbikes and pedestrians who are not afraid to swoosh in and out of traffic going at any speed.

    After which come the special section of electric scooter better known as “Silent Assassins”. Coming from a dark alley or on a badly lit street in the attempt to save energy by not turning on their headlights they can and will run you over as fast as possible, some are so good at energy saving they refuse to use their horn and just shout at you while passing by millimeters away of sending you to the netherworld.

    After which our beloved Sherpa’s come, in a timely manner they bring us what our hearts desire and our tired (drunk) bodies cannot deliver. Note: please do take care out there as much as we want our food to arrive piping hot I think I speak for all of us when I say your safety is more important than a hot meal. If you can get to us in time fantastic but do not take your driving skills to the limit. You’ve done well and made a name for yourselves and all sherpas on the street should be greeted with respect and a special hand sign (NEXT CONTEST PLEASE HAND GESTURE (SIGN) TO SAY THANK YOU TO ALL SHERPA’S ON THE STREET SO THEY CAN SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE THANKFUL, AFFECTED AND DEPEND ON THEIR HARD WORK). Kudos to all your Sherpa’s!

    Fixies for they are the beauty of the road and bring colour into this otherwise so grey world. More lively and colourful than your pink BMW or turquoise Mercedes, they are the sun, the moon and the stars all in one. The true Fixie without breaks rank below the single front break Fixie as in this orderly chaos they do tend to drive more reserved due to the fact that being able to stop at an instance in unpredictable Shanghai traffic does come at a price.

    Construction vehicles and large other kinds of four or more wheeled things. They enforce their position like every other bully in the world. With brute force and ignorance.

    Company drivers and taxis which have the feel for the flow of traffic and somehow know whenever another car will or will not give way to let them squeeze in.

    Last but not least Homoerectus, the Pedestrian, which in some cases might be thought of being on top just because of the sheer number of participants but numbers, do not cut it in traffic. Everybody knows who has ever stood at the pedestrian crossing waiting for a car to stop to let you cross. If you would try that on a busy street you certainly will be in need of Sherpas to provide you with enough sustenance to make it through the 24h or more you’d be standing and waiting there.

    I call upon you to try and break free of these chains we call order and hierarchy and let the new street hierarchy come. Fixies and Sherpas go claim what’s rightfully yours. You are the top of the foodchain and for all Sherpa clients make way for these knights of the day and night, these knights in shining armour who have saved more lives than they probably know.

    And for all most important, be safe when you’re out.

    1. Ok…awesome infographic…but hey…maybe you OVERDID?

      “What is the hierarchy on the road, and why?”

      Answer #2:
      the hyrarchy as of today is:
      S ailboats (the bigger, wankier and whiter the better)
      H elicopters (yes..we will live to see that day, trust me)
      E ctoplasa (you don’t want to mess with that stuff…hence give way)
      R obocops (there is no arguing here)
      P eacecorps (yeah right, that’s not gonna happen anyway)
      A ssclowns (plenty of them on the street and you know at least 10 of them as well)
      S herpas (that’s the only reason i see why my pizza was cold)

  53. Also, although it’s never been seen in the wild, if you could bring Eddy Merckx to Shanghai and set him up with a Sherpa’s delivery outfit, you’d outpace everything on the road.

  55. When applied to the Shanghai streets, the answer to the age old question – who rules the road? – is a very simple and obvious one. But why start from the top? Let’s work our way up from the bottom, like the industrious folk we are.

    [BOTTOM OF THE BARREL] Scourge of the streets…

    – Naturally, fancy cars driven by the corrupt are the absolute worst. Particularly when they are being driven poorly and without regard to the existence of others/traffic laws. Bonus Awful-Points awarded if mistress/man-stress present. (Fancy cars acquired through honest means are just like other regular cars – i.e boring – and are therefore unmentioned here.)

    – The classic texting-while-jaywalking pedestrian. (Tip: get as close as possible without harming them. Honk. That’ll put a tingle in their trousers.)

    – Dudes driving segways against bike-lane traffic during rush hour.

    – People who block the box.

    – Dark red cabs.

    – Those tree-cleaning trucks that spray whatever-the-hell-that-is in your eyes when you try and pass them on your ill bicycle.

    – That matte-purple BMW always parked on Julu Lu.

    – Longboards.

    – Those blue construction trucks with the white lettering. Good gracious, get out of their way. Now.

    – Public buses. Even more reckless than the construction trucks but ranked higher as they serve The People.

    – Mealbay drivers.

    [RISING TO THE TOP] Approaching greatness…

    – Dudes in small hats riding fixies while drinking Barcadi Breezers and listening to some record you’ve never heard of.

    – The Strictly Cookies delivery guy.

    – Razor Scooters.

    – Babes in small shorts riding fixies while shotgunning Kirins.

    – Those crazy-small skateboards that look ludicrously dangerous.

    – The water dudes with like three dozen empty tongs stacked on their dusty scooters who smoke stogs and talk on their phones through traffic and are unfazed by the sheer magnitude of their undertaking. Props, yo. Respect.

    – Those little three-wheeled doohickeys.

    – Motorcycle taxi drivers that look like they just killed a man.

    – Styrofoam stackers / cardboard carters / bottle barons / street sweepers

    – The rabid, terrifying glory of the bike pack during the Factory Five Tuesday night rides.

    – Old people pushing each other in wheelchairs. Bonus points if wearing matching pajamas/singing.

    [THE PINNACLE] Looking down, benevolently

    The Kings of the Shanghai Streets are the rollerbladers. Such a truth is known.

    However, the One True Lord of the Shanghai Streets will only be crowned when a Sherpa’s delivery guy straps on a pair of magenta blades from the 90s and kuaidi’s a ham sandwich directly to my face. Only then shall we have our One True Lord.

    —
    { my own history I think of as a postcard } | Roger Presents: Dispatches from Shanghai

  56. The hierarchy of the road:

    All for none and none for all,
    Hierarchy goes from big to small.
    Bonus points for guts and luck,
    Keep moving, don’t be a sitting duck.

    Sirens really should get a special mention,
    Sadly they don’t garner too much attention.
    A loud horn can pester a few slow ones away,
    Most of us are deaf to those too anyway.

    Buses and trucks are the kings of the black,
    Mess with them and you’ll be one with tarmac.
    Bending the rules and always right,
    Believe me, you will never win this fight.

    Cabs come in next followed closely by cars,
    Within this rank you just look at the scars.
    The more battered the vehicle, the higher the standing,
    Another dent surely won’t need any mending.

    On the food chain two wheels rank very low,
    Although through traffic they are rarely slow.
    Motorized Sherpa and pedal fixie alike,
    Weaving through traffic on a nimble bike.

    The lowest echelon is simply two feet,
    Alas they think they own the street.
    Who is right, who is wrong?
    Why can’t we all just get along?

  57. What is the hierarchy on the road, and why?

    My mission is clear; deliver the food, on time, hot and happy, or cold and icy.

    I begin to mentally prepare myself for it. I stand up cracking my back and open my closet. Were you to see it ( you can’t, sorry I’d have to kill you if you did), you would see an assortment of black and orange bicycle shorts, jerseys, helmets, and the ever beautiful Sherpa’s bag. I pull on my bike shorts, the spandex pulling on my skin as they glide over my beautiful buttocks.

    “Flex butt muscles in preparation; one, two, one, two. I pull on my styling orange and black Sherpa’s jersey; rotate chest cavity, around and back, around and back. I pull on my gloves, black gloves, they snap and Velcro in place; flexing fingers, extend in, extend, in, wiggle and go. Last but not least I put on my handy sunglasses and snap my helmet in place, my bag slinging to my back and I grin, teeth sparkling white. I am… the Sherpa’s man. “

    I grab my bag, and head out the door, ooops might need shoes. Running back into my apartment, pull on my shoes. Where was I? Oh yes, I AM………. (Wait for it, wait for it..) The SHERPAS man. I run down to my beautiful Sherpa’s fixie swing a leg over and look at my first order. It’s from Joe the plumber asking me to run to Egghead bagels and get his usual order. Grinning, the brilliance of my teeth flashing in the sun, and I take off.

    The rules of the road in Shanghai as the Sherpa’s man are simple: Don’t die. The hierarchy is as follows, the bigger, the not so much better after all I am the Sherpa’s man., ruggedly handsome, hilariously fun.. Charming…. Oh, where was I? Oh yes, the hierarchy of the road is the bigger always has the right of way. As the most handsome and masculine of Sherpa’s, I am the only fixie rider, there is a danger scale that I have created. Why? Why DO I have the danger scale? Well it’s quite simple. Mission 1: Dress cool, look cool, and deliver the food. Mission 2: Don’t die. The danger scale allows me to quickly and awesomely assess the danger I may or may not be in. On a scale of 1 to 10 large trucks, construction equipment and anything that can cut me has a rating of ten on the Sherpa’s danger scale anything that’s can cause danger to my glorious hairless (except for my head I’m not bald) body. Pretty women on scooters, 10, big ominous trucks, 10, crazy squealing cab drivers 10. My feet hit the pedals hard as I scan the road. To my left, expo cab, comfortable to ride in, about a 3 on the danger scale except during rush hour, then that same cab changes to a 7 on the danger scale. To my right a scooter with a pretty girl on it, a 10 easily on the danger scale, oh wait wedding ring on that left finger, a 1 on the danger scale. I flash a pearly white smile and continue on my way. I see a big truck about three seconds of riding away, I quickly jump my bike on a nearby board and twirl in the air, hit the pavement and skid under the truck. The driver smiles and gives me thumbs up. I continue my pounding ride. A scooter zooms up next to the driver grinning evilly, easily a 4 on the danger scale, and tried to bump me. I quickly pull my brakes, the whole weight of my bike moving to my front wheel. I grin back at him and twirl my back wheel, it hits him square in the face and the fight is all over.
    I reach egghead bagels, dismount, run in, grab the delivery and jump back on my bike. I am in the right hand turn lane and I wait patiently for the green light. I see a car on the other side of road and I see the driver grip his steering wheel until his knuckles are white, so much for being courteous I thought. I flex my butt muscles and hunch down low over my bike, my right leg posed to sprint forward as soon as the light hits 1. 3,2,1 I gnash my teeth jam down on the pedal and sprint my bike forward, the man brakes hard suddenly and he hits be, sending me flying. I hit the pavement. Right, the hierarchy of the road, I stand pulling my tighty whiteys back up and glare at the driver
    1.) Cars are bigger than me, but I’m smoother.
    2.) Trucks are much bigger than me but I’m sexier.
    The scooters are idly watching as I yell at the driver in English about how important my mission is and moved towards my bike. My Sherpa’s bike, I pick it up off the ground and taking a deep breath I remembered that I am awesome only because I remember the hierarchy of the road and I remember that things are what they are. I smile at the driver wave to the scooters and continue on my mission.
    Remember: I am……. The Sherpa’s man.

    Maybe one day, maybe one day Sherpa’s will hire me. Now I leave you dear reader with a last flashing smile, remember be safe, wear a helmet, and I’ll be here to deliver your food.

  58. I see and observe the life on road, the hierarchy of people the hierarchy of the world,,
    People in buses, people in cars, people on ebikes and then we the people on bicycles.

    The hierarchy changes everyday, like the life.

    There are ups (uphills) and downs (downhills) on the road like life, the cars lead the hierarchy there with pride, the bicyclers need to work hard on up hills,, the hierarchy changes on the downhills, we the bicyclers feel like we are the undisputed kings of the road.

    On the city roads e-bikers are the goons, the silent killers, no one knows they are there but they lead and they respect nothing, no rules no mercy, the buses have their own hierarchy they follow rules and bother nothing, the cars have their own class and they feel like they own the road and then there are taxis just trying to live a life on the road, the pedestrians have low life on the road and they even don’t care, they are busy chattering and blame everyone else on the road.

    But this is how life works, the hierarchy of riches and poor, the hierarchy of peoples and their emotions, the hierarchy of roads taking us somewhere !

    Have a happy journey !
    Ride bicycle Ride life !

  61. 1) The one in front of you.
    2) The one that can get in front of you.
    3) You
    4) The one you can get in front of
    5) Whatever is behind you, pretend they don’t exist.

    Applies to scooters, pedestrians, hipster fixie riders, inanimate objects, sherpas and anything else you might encounter…which in China could be damn near anything.

  62. My hierarchy on the road from daily experience…

    Hierarchy on the road:

    1. expensive cars (mostly driven by guys with the better connections)
    2. buses and trucks (you never know whether they push you off the street)
    3. SHERPA’S (because next time you might be waiting for one)
    4. cars (it just hurts much more)
    5. fixies (because mostly ridden by crazy people)
    6. e-scooter (because there are so many of them)
    7. bicycles (it’s because the brake might not work)
    8. pedestrians

    BUT, how you can jump up by up to two levels in the hierarchy:

    – just be the first to enter the crossing without looking left or right (the kamikaze approach)
    – be a different looking foreigner or accompany one (it’s just too expensive to injure one)
    – carry a child or push one in a stroller (they are like magnets for Chinese eyes and will definitely be recognized)
    – install one of these horns that remind you of steam ships (at least as long as people haven’t got used to it)

    Hope to jump up the hierarchy from a pedestrian to a crazy fixie cyclist 🙂

  64. Bikes are awesome
    As we all know, there are a lot of stuff on the road such as cars, buses, trucks, bikes and also pedestrian as well. Nowadays cars, buses, and trucks are the most common vehicle on the road but bikes are popular. In my opinion bike should be more important. Bikes do not pollute, bikes are convenient and bikes cost more money. Actually bikes are awesome.

    Firstly, bikes do not pollute. If you ride a bike, you do not cause noise pollution, air pollution, and water pollution. It just make you fell a little bit tired . But if you drive a car it will produce tons of greenhouse gases, it will make many noise. Drive a car also can make the road dusty. There are so many citizens in China. If every one all ride bikes there are less pollution. So for this purpose I suggest that we should make bike more common.Every should ride bikes to school or go to work instead of drive a car.

    The second reason I think bike should be more important is bikes are convenient. In fact you can ride your bike almost everywhere.But there are a lot of road do not allowed bike to pass.It make me very confusing.Bikes are also easy to park,as an illustration you can park your bike near the road,under the tree,and so on, but park cars are so much difficult you must park your car in the parking lot. If you ride a bike you do not to worry about fuel consumption.If you want to ride a bike than just ride it. Bikes are easy to carry as well. Bikes are lighter than a car if your bikes broken on the halfway you only need to push it to the repair shop, but if your car is broken you got a big trouble you need to call the trailer and wait until the trailer comes.

    The final reason is bikes are cost less money.If you buy a bike instead of buy a car you will save a great deal of money,bikes are more cheap than a car. Bikes also do not use fuel you can save money on that. There is one thing that you just should pay is for more food, because after you ride bike you will feel more hungry than before. In addition if your bike is broken you will pay less money to fix it than to fix a car. Bikes need less clean than a car if your bike is dirty you just use a basin of water and a piece of cloth than your bike will be brand new.

    As has been said I think bike should be more important on the road.It should rise hierarchy,it is more convenient,and it is cost less money.Bikes are fantastic.

  65. Hierarchy comes down to urgency. Whoever is more urgent, or is currently engaged in an urgent agenda is applying full incomparable force and energy into this situation.

    This is me, urgently trying to make it to F5 Ride, because the ride starts at 9, and I am 45 minute into the ride from Yangpu district, 15 min left to cover 6 more km. Ultimately, at this moment, without a care for anyone else’s agenda, in the hierarchical ladder of the road, mine is most urgent and most priority.

    Reason: I want to experience Shanghai F5 for the very first time, and though others have told me what it’s all about, an experience cannot be explained or visualized, it must be felt, and I’m urgently going there to feel it.

    There is a Sherpa’s guy in front of me, he is urgently delivering some food to some people, but not as urgently as me getting to this massive ride heading to who knows where in the city…

  66. Thanks for hosting the competition! Here’s my entry:

    Congratulations on your decision to ride a bicycle on the streets of Beijing! You’ve just volunteered yourself as a prime candidate for natural selection. Fortunately, by maintaining some awareness of the hierarchy on the road, your chances of escaping death or serious injury are much improved. What is this hierarchy and how does it work? Read on to find out.
    Firstly, do not drive on the road, for that is the domain of cars and other Vehicles Which Must Not Be Named. Do not drive on the sidewalk, as that is the domain of pedestrians and woe to the one who strikes the Beijing laotaitai—or worse yet—one of the precious children (and also cars and other Vehicles Which Must Not be Named). This of course leaves only the the poorly-named bike lane, which despite being named thusly is also ruled by not only cars and other Vehicles Which Must Not Be named but also the aforementioned laotaitai—which is present not only on foot but also in mounted form—and also the precious children.
    On the matter of signaling one’s presence, do not rely on the ten kuai bell you bought for yourself. Though it is surely a fine bell, drivers of motor vehicles (unreliable even when their glass shields have been retracted), pedestrians on foot and indeed other mounted warriors are willfully ignorant of its plaintive cry of warning. When all else fails, a hearty cry of pang bianr may suffice to alert the clueless lackwit to your presence. Even still, beware the ambling laotaitai, to whom these streets truly belong, and the precious children who sprint gleefully into the path of your bicycle ahead of the protesting cries of their mother—kan che!
    Lastly, yield always to the men bearing the crest of Sherpa’s Food Delivery Service, who with all haste carry their delicious charge through these perilous streets to those who suffer from the pangs of hunger. Their quest is a noble one and should be encouraged at every possible opportunity.
    Oh, and an additional reminder for those of the fixed persuasion—ride by the Bell Tower at your own risk! The men in blue who guard this ancient castle will be quick to reprimand, or worse still, apprehend your neon steed.

  67. Hierarchy on the road?!? Is there one? If there is it has to be some sort of food chain hierarchy. Here is my suggestion:

    First has to be busses. They stop for nothing, hardly slowing for red lights and they are avoided by all
    on the road.
    Over packed, over loaded 3 wheeled bikes- they don’t care who they cut off or what falls off the back.
    Oh those taxis! Close your eyes when you get inside. You are in for one wild ride. The Disney rides
    have nothing on these guys.
    Dogs and cats. I have watched traffic come to a screeching halt as a dog limped across the road.

    Chugging along with our food comes the Sherpas on their scooters. We know them, we love them and
    they survive because we all need them to deliver our dinner.
    Hardy cyclists that ride fixies. Braver than most cyclists, skidding to an emergency stop and just missing
    every other vehicle they are the true Shanghai cyclists.
    Aristocrats in their fancy new cars. They blow their horns but no one cares, they think they are too
    good for us but as we pass them in traffic on our fixies we all laugh at them.
    Idiot who stole my last fixie (I hope he is last on the food chain).
    Near the very bottom are the poor souls that walk. They are not safe on sidewalks, crosswalks and
    especially the streets of Shanghai.

    I hope you enjoyed my hierarchy of the Shanghai roads. The food chain here is second to none. It is the way that I see the beauty and chaos on the roads. I think one of my favorite ways to pass the time is to watch an intersection at rush hour and see how everything flows together. It is a symphony of sound, pleasing to the eye and it gets the heart pumping like wild. Have a wonderful day,

  68. Question: ‘What is the hierarchy on the road, and why?’

    Answer: Assuming that pedestrians should not to be factored into any serious road hierarchy (since people traveling on foot on busy roads are essentially fodder and would upend any system which allows for such behavior), the scientifically undisputed hierarchy on the road, which accounts for all relevant factors, is:

    (B/G + (1-B)M/C) x U(P1)/(1+X)(P2) x S/A, where
    • B = a binary value that = 1 if the traveler is on a Bike, and = 0 otherwise
    • G = the number of gears on the bike at hand (since a reliance on gear-shifting is an impediment to rapid response-time on the road, where maximum output and speed are overshadowed by the ability to alternate speeds, brake and re-accelerate on the fly)
    • M = Miles per Gallon, if B = 0 and we are solving for a vehicle’d traveler
    • C = Carbon emissions per full vehicle re-fueling/re-charge
    • U = Urgency scale of traveler, numerically calculated via the Rohn Emergency Scale (which is based off of factors like number of potential victims, monetary loss, and topographical change of the incident at hand) adjusted by a ceiling function, which makes U a value between 1 and 10
    • P1 = the avg. Population Density of the area where the traveler spends most of his time driving/biking
    • X = number of accidents traveler has been responsible for on the road
    • P2 = the avg. Population Density of the area where the traveler is currently driving/biking
    • S = how Sexy the traveler is (or average of Sexiness levels, if there are additional passengers onboard), as determined by Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeBruine’s 29-point facial symmetry scale, which has been vouched for by Oprah
    • A = How big of an Asshole the traveler (or average of Asshole levels, if there are additional passengers onboard) is, on a range of 1 = Butters from Southpark and 10 = that serial killer from No Country for Old Men
    Following this logically unimpeachable line of reasoning:
     A country bumpkin accustomed to driving carelessly through Alabama’s open countryside who now finds himself cruising through the jam-packed streets of LA on his gas-guzzling SUV, headed nowhere in particular, should yield to:
     My ex-girlfriend, with her atrocious driving record, coasting along the 101 on her Honda Accord, while yielding to:
     Brad Pitt (who scores a staggering 9.3 on Dr. DeBruine’s 29-point facial symmetry scale) delivering tapas to an orphanage on a relatively high-MPG Sherpa’s delivery bike, though priority goes to:
     Elon Musk cruising through Maine in his Model X, on the way to a cocktail party celebrating his recent charging station expansion into the East Coast, although even with those credentials he will need to make way for:
    o Obama on a 6-gear mountain-bike pursuing Snowden through Russian tundra, swerving away at the last minute to avoid hitting
    • Me, Elmer Chen, on a brand-new Factory Five Fixed Gear bicycle, tearing through the streets of Beijing as I preach the fixie gospel and spread the good word on Factory Five.

    Any serious road hierarchy needs to account for a variety of ever-changing variables instead of simply stating inflexible list of vehicle models and so forth. You challenged your fans to lay out the hierarchy on the road, and I believe I have risen to your challenge, offering an indisputable model. In the words of Albuquerque entrepreneur Jesse Pinkman, “[it’s] science, bitch.”

    Thank you for your consideration =)

  69. Give way to everything bigger than you.
    Do not turn your head to look for oncoming traffic.
    Ignore all traffic signals.
    Don’t hesitate.

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