Contests

October “Is Bigger Always Better?” Contest

Monday

Sep

29

By:Connor Bell

“Is bigger always better?” You tell us!

Write your funniest, wittiest, innuendo-filled answer regarding “Is bigger always better?” and then slam it here on our blog.

Though the answers may be long and hard, we know you‘re “up” for this titillating test which climaxes on Cocktober 31st, so don’t blow this off!

Get your meat and two veg comments in to have your chance at winning the sleekest, sexiest lil’ thang since Swayze’s butt in Dirty Dancing. Guys and gals- we’re talking about the iPhone 6 Plus, and we’re betting you’ll be able to come up with hilarious answers while your gobbling your next wiener from Sherpa’s!

There’s an iPhone at stake, so come on folks – make us blush.

173 Comments

  2. I’m not quite sure. My friend recently hooked up with a really tall, muscular black guy. She was saying that he had a huge package, and I asked her “So, is bigger always better?” She hesitated and then just said “well, I’m torn…”

  3. Of course bigger is better… Sherpa’s is the biggest food delivery service in Shanghai and they are also the best. I mean, they come fast but will always bring a napkin to wipe your face off with.

  6. Meanwhile at Apple HQ:

    – Oh noes, people finally figured out we are a crooked company,
    what should we do?

    – Maybe we shouldn’t have copied the Curved Samsung TV blueprints after all,
    the jury in court will surely notice, after all it was we who taught them
    to recognize basic geometric shapes as design.

    – Don’t worry, we just need to make it even bigger!
    The trick is to simply extend the bend beyond the visible horizon.

  8. I can’t answer that question before I have seen it, so show me yours and I show you mine. (But bigger is always better when we talk about distance that sherpas can deliver)

  9. There is nothing better than a big, hot, extra large and juicy……SHERPA’S delivery …of course! 🙂 !!!!!

  10. Bigger is not always better because Chinese noodles can be thin and short but explode with extra flavor in your mouth when you give them attention.

  12. So two men were peeing at the urinals next to each other. The black guy looked over at the white guy’s wiener and saw the word “Tom” tattooed on it. Black guy says “So I guess your name is Tom”? White guy says “Yes” and looks over at the black guy’s wiener and sees “WTJAHAND” tattooed on his wiener. White guy says “Wow you have a funny name”! Finishing peeing, black guy turns around and lets his “thing” drop down and says “No that’s not my name, it says Welcome To Jamiaca And Have A Nice Day”

  15. It’s not the size of the ship, but the motion of the ocean. Smaller ships can always be swallowed up by a calm ocean. Larger ships can always pry the familiar sea lanes, but it would seem that the the bigger the ship and the wider the ocean, the more boring the voyage. So, size doesn’t matter. Rather, it’s how your steer your ship and how to take the right route to calm the anxious ocean!

  16. Is bigger always better? But bigger what, precisely? In the words of Sir Mix-A-Lot, my anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got buns, hun… And Sherpa’s truly has buns galore – indeed, some of the biggest buns I’ve had the pleasure of laying my eyes upon. From Piro’s soft, forgiving numbers to the firm, perfectly browned efforts from Egghead’s Bagels, it’s non-stop buns at Sherpa’s. The very thought of them has me licking my lips… And don’t get me started on the ribs, baby… The baby ‘got’ back ribs, that is. Is bigger always better? When it comes to ‘portion’ sizes the answer is most definitely yes… Yes… Yes!

  17. There was a ladies contest in Japan and the contestants were from Asia, America and Africa. The jury throws the question: ‘bigger is better’ – do you agree? The Asia lady without hesitation said yeahhh… Bigger is indeed better because it is rare. The American lady thought for a second and said it depends from which state you come from? And then summarise that bigger is better.. The African lady said I disagree with the other contestants and will go for bigger is not better.. It is the usual daily operation – so I’ll go for bigger is not better after recent local experience yesterday.

  18. Well if you would ask Barney Stinson the answer would certainly be “newer is always better” so I would say since the iPhone 6 + is newer AND bigger it has to be a lot better than the older phones.

    Cheers

    Ahmet

  19. Yes, bigger is always better – because if I win, I’ll be the only entrant with something bigger than an iPhone 6 Plus is my pocket!

  24. Well, my friend has a bigger one though it is white, it is surprisingly useful. I just saw him type an email from the couch while his macbook was sitting on top of the coffee table using his big white. he also uses the big white for turning on and off the lights which is amazing. do not neeed to walk over all the way to light switch. only thing annoying about it is: he seems to can not quit playing with it… all the time in his hands, stroking up and down, up and down with his fingers… actually i am kind of avoiding him because now he started doing it in public! just we are having our first sips of whisky he puts is hand down his pants and takes it out in plain sight of others. he waves it around to show how big it is i guess. he even started talking to it. saying stuff like darling, honey, bunny etc. what a mess!!

    (see also: continuity)
    (see also: home kit)

    1. hey connor, dude, my comment didnt show up yet. it says “Your comment is awaiting moderation.” thanks

  27. Bigger, yes, is often better.
    Bigger drinks get throats much wetter.
    Bigger Sherpa’s orders sate
    Desires that need bigger plates.

    Bigger meats are often tender
    (Pleasurable for either gender)
    And satisfy where doth they go–
    In holes above or down below.

    A several-course meal can be gripping,
    Leaving your date gorged and dripping.
    A bigger chance now fast arises
    To recommend some exercises.

    Bigger meals make pants fit slimmer,
    And though that leaves you feeling grimmer
    There’s great news–and I’ll be brief–
    Bigger sh**s yield big relief.

    Yet smaller too can be a pleasure
    Depending what you choose to measure.
    But measurement’s an easy fix
    With ruler apps on iPhone 6.

    (And if name accuracy’s a must–
    I meant “iPhone 6 f**kin’ plus.”)

  28. Boys, boys, boys… You should know that it isn’t size that matters, but what you do with it that counts. I’ve been looking for a little – or a big – something to slip inside my jeans for quite some time. But a strong vibration isn’t the only thing that I’m looking for – it’s got to have some serious button-pushing ability as well as enough battery power to keep me up all night long. Luckily it looks like Sherpa’s have got it licked and have ‘come up’ with just the thing. Now if they could serve it up to me like they usually do – hot, fast and steamy – big or small, I’ll most certainly be on my knees just begging for more. Just ring my bell, Sherpa’s, and I’ll open up for you – day or night.

  32. bigger is always better… but apple is better in all size …apple a day keeps Samsung away

    bigger is always better but apple is beyond size

  33. To find the answer to that question, I took a very very looooong train on a hard, hard seat to Shenyang to ask a few Dongbei men if a few extra inches–sorry, centimeters–really made a big difference. You know, Dongbei men are famous for their size, so I just couldn’t wait to wrap my…mind around their thick, uncut responses.

    Let me tell you, I wasn’t disappointed. As soon as I got off the train, I was surrounded by five strong men all eager to give me the ride of my life. Things were getting hot, and I worried it all might explode right there in my face. “Guys,” I said. “Guys, I just wanna know which one of you has the biggest, widest car cause I’ve got some luggage.” They all pointed to a guy named Da Yi. “But you don’t wanna ride with him,” one guy said. “He’s a bottom.”

    Now I know that bigger doesn’t always work the way you want.

  35. It’s always scrumptious to look at a big portion because it will always feels good and warm inside. Same goes for what Sherpa’s delivers.

  38. Is bigger always better?

    My wife thought so, she insisted on a good 6 inches. I told her to piss off – I’m not folding it in half for anybody.

    All joking aside, I have got 12 inches – but I don’t use it as a rule…

  40. I was always the fastest in my class when competing in 3-legged races. Nicknamed it ‘Forrest Gump’, cause it just kept on running.

  41. Bigger = better?

    All I can say, is when I do something, I always aim big.

    September was noooooo exception.

    So, I broke my wrist at the beginning of September. It wasn’t a small sprain, or such. We’re talking multiple fractures, to the point that a cast wouldn’t do. Nope, I needed surgery, not just to put the bones in place, but also to put some italian machinery in me. I guess they thought I’d be a good candidate to be the first Borg.

    But you see, the good folks at Huashan hospital thought surgery on my wrist would be enough. Through the course of pre-operation check up, my liver functions weren’t up to the norm. Which… naturally lead to the discovery of a tumor. Test, tests test, they have no idea what it is, so I get scheduled to go under the knife TWICE.

    Do things small? No way.

    They stick me full of IV’s for a week to get my liver levels under control, and do surgery for my wrist. A success. I’ve started loosing weight at this point because of… you guessed it… hospital food. Thank goodness, for Sherpas.

    So after my surgery, guess what I do next? I dropped my iPhone and the screen cracked. What a month. I forgive myself, after all, I’m juggling everything i need to do, with just my left hand until they remove this contraption. But remember, how I said I like to do things big? Well, dropping my phone once wasn’t enough. I dropped it two more times. Check out the pics lol. Oy vey.

    Second surgery, I start to notice the one of the favorite by words of medical staff in China is “maybe”…

    “Will it hurt”
    “Maybe, yes”
    “Is it dangerous”
    “Maybe yes, a little”
    “When can I go back to work?”
    “Maybe one week. Maybe two weeks”

    Fine by my ladies and gents. Let’s open me up. Second surgery was successful. They ended up removing 30% of my liver, but they said they it went well. First surgery, I felt like my arm was torn up (it was) Second surgery, I was a hot mess, the details of which would be “too big” for this blog. (This is a food delivery service after all, and I wouldn’t want any of you to lose your appetites 😉

    Sometimes, bigger isn’t always better. BUT, in those instances where bigger isn’t the best… you can at least be fortunate to learn, and grow stronger from those experiences. You’re friends come to visit you in the hospital. People buy you flowers. And when you can’t bear the thought of another box of hospital meat balls… there’s Sherpas. There are some things that make Shanghai so special. And having Haiku delivered to you in the hospital is one of those things. Thank you Sherpas 🙂

  43. She opened the door in just a towel, the Sherpas delivery guy stood there smiling “Is that an iPhone 6 Plus in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?” she said. Confused but aroused, he took out his package. “I can’t swallow all that” she squealed. Sherpa guy eyed her bosom bursting above the towel. With a look of bemusement he brought something out of his bag. “You want 2 fork?” he said in broken English. She grinned, “thought you’d never ask”.

  44. I’ll make this short and sweet: Why pound away on your wood when you could get an iphone from us?

  45. My GF didn’t know that there were two different sizes I could get. She like the bigger one better of course but that was a pain to carry around so I tried it out for a day and people were so amazed, asked to touch it, even a little girl played with it! When I took it out of my paints everyone gazed, smiled and even took pictures of it! I mean it was huge. So yea all that attention from people was awesome. BIGGER IS BETTER!

  46. I could list all the typical dick replies but that’s pretty lame instead i am going to write how this phone is the only iphone that could satisfy my needs for reading comic books at night on a finally larger screen. Reading on my iphone 4 gave me a hard time but now there are the good people over at sherpa giving me the chance to win a device that could fullfill all my Dreams about having something big in my pants (sorry no comment about bigger is better without this lame joke).

    Anyways thanks for letting me have this oppurtunity and goodbye

    Cheers Ahmet

    Ps: (iPhone 6plus spacegrey to the rescue)

  47. 1 inch – Are you f***ing kidding me?
    2 inch – I can’t even hold it properly.
    3 inch – Never been so unsatisfied in my life.
    4 inch – I’ve had bigger!
    5 inch – Good, but not enough!
    6 inch – About right.
    7 inch – Can’t complain.
    8 inch – F***ing perfect.
    9 inch – A bit much.
    10 inch – It’s hurting my insides.
    11 inch – I can’t take it anymore.
    12 inch – I’m absolutely f***ing destroyed.

    And now you know how I rate my sandwiches.

  48. Bigger is better, because larger is harder. Unless it goes soft in your pocket and bends. But when you hold it tight, the smoothness feels just right as you stroke it and poke it with trembling fingers until it vibrates and you smile as it makes you tingle in anticipation of who is on the other end. A friend? A lover? Oh… it’s just your mother.

  49. is bigger always better? it depends. if you are talking about breast,–of course yes. if you are talking about deficit—absolutely not.

  51. Well, size-wise this prize lends a humbling disguise,
    to the skinny jean crouch where my pecker reside,
    hence “the bigger the better” doesn’t always apply 😉

  52. Bigger is better unless you can’t hold it in one hand. Bigger is better unless it bends uncomfortably when you sit. Bigger is better unless you don’t know where to put your mouth…or your ear. Bigger is better unless it makes what’s next to it look small =(

  56. There once was a woman in China
    Who yearned for something not minor.
    She made a delivery order
    Hoping it would somehow afford her
    Something sizably large to subside her.

    The delivery arrived at her door
    And her jaw suddenly hit the floor
    It was easy to see
    That his package would be
    Something that would leave her terribly sore.

    She said, ‘I’m sorry to admit
    That package just will not fit,
    But if you’d simply comply
    To help eat my tuna on rye
    I’ll do as best as I can to stuff it.’

    So it should be easy to see
    That big isn’t the best thing to be,
    Though it’s better than small,
    That’s the worst thing of all,
    Even the sore woman in China would agree.

  64. Is bigger better? It depends on the food. I can’t go past a man with a big banana without my mouth watering (and other places too). A lady with large melons can certainly stir my hunger. I prefer runny eggs over rising buns any day, however. And Apples? I’ve got a hankering to find out…

  65. For males…. the bigger the better, until we reach iPhone 9”
    For females…. the smaller the cups, the more pleasure, due to easier stimulation and less fat

    iPhone 6 is the perfect size. But… nothing beats a juicy, cheesy, meaty burger delivered by Sherpa’s!

  67. Who wouldn’t want a Bigger house, a Bigger car, a Bigger salary ? A person who thinks small is beautiful.

    Who wouldn’t want a Big Mac, a Big cup of Cola, a Big plate of fries ? A person who is a small eater.

    Big is better
    Only when it matters (clear that dirty thoughts!)
    Sometimes it makes you happier
    Other times it makes you sadder

    So big is not always better
    Cos small can make you prettier
    When big and small get together
    Medium becomes the centre

    Big can be beautiful in it’s own ways
    Small can be as beautiful, it’s up to you to say

  68. Bigger is a statement of fact, Better is a matter of opinion

    This can apply to any given question

  70. No, I’d say: bigger AND better is what the world needs.

    Size only brings you nothing. Ask her (yes, also e.g. technique!), customers (e.g. they also want thinner, lighter deliveries!) or moms (who wants to carry around 10kg?! When it gets bigger, it better walks!)!

  73. The wise philosopher “Prices Amber”once said:

    ‘Cause bigger is better,
    And bigest is best!
    If you take my advice,
    You’ll outshine all the rest!

  79. Scientists say the average size of the male penis has gone down to 5 inches.

    This just shows how big the Chinese population is getting.

    “For gods sake stop the Chinese!” one woman said.

  83. “Bigger is better ” Only when it competes well on all measurable grounds and stand tallest among all.

  86. Where is the difference between hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber. Size must fit the purpose on purchase 😉 …

  87. A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and mixed emotions when he turned to his wife and said, ‘Honey, that’s a bunch of crap. I bet you can’t tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time.’

    She said, ‘You have the biggest penis of all your friends.

  88. I like big portions and I cannot lie
    You other brothers can’t deny
    When a Sherpas guy walks in with a order i placed
    Wanna stuff it in my face

    You get sprung
    Picking a restaurant’s tough
    Order something so I’m stuffed
    These skinny jeans i’m wearing
    Don’t fit and I’m not caring

    Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
    And take your picture
    My homeboys tried to warn me
    But those portions you got
    (this song’s so corny…)

  92. Is Bigger Always Better?

    First let’s talk about the facts according to Apple. I know that everyone didn’t have the same opportunity to learn “Jobs” speak before his passing but luckily I found this translate App on Google Play (weird I know) that can help you understand Jobs by putting in in your eyes, ears and in around your face holes:

    Fact (according to Apple): “iPhone 6 isn’t simply bigger — it’s better in every way. Larger, yet dramatically thinner. More powerful, but remarkably power efficient.”

    ~ Translated means: I have had a lot to drink, the equipment may not function as promised and or display model does not reflect actual experience.

    Fact (according to Apple): “So while its display is larger, iPhone 6 feels just right.”

    ~ Translated means: Let me buy you a Roofie Colada.

    Fact (according to Apple): It is the biggest iOS ever!

    ~ Translated means: Next time close your eyes!

    Fact (according to Apple): “The new A8 chip delivers more power, even while driving a larger display.”

    ~ Translated means: No obligatory tap needed. You should have already known!

    I mean I can’t even write it better then Apple already advertises it:

    Fact (according to Apple): “The M8 motion coprocessor efficiently gathers data from advanced sensors and a new barometer. And with increased battery life, iPhone 6 lets you do more, for longer than ever.”

    ~ Translated means: My roommate is filming this for future shaming of you and it’s digital so it won’t go away. You just hit 1,000,000 views!

    You can decide for yourself by the funny way you walk tomorrow if “Is Bigger Always Better” but everyone will know what you have or had in you pants. If you only comfortable with 4.7” go with the 6, if you want to stretch yourself go with the 5.5” 6+. If you really are into that kinda thing or want to start with the iPad Mini at 7.9”, porn star status awaits when you reach the iPad at 9.7”.

    I have to leave it there because although I support ultrafast 802.11ac Wi-Fi, no one wants to see what it looks like after a 27” iMac has quad-core processed it.

  94. Yes bigger is better. it’s easy to HOLD,you like BIG in you hand. People can see BIG in you front pocket. Its BIG,BIG & BIG.
    You can enjoy more with BIG. Girls also like BIG.

  95. Size does matter but timings are more important and matter much more because sometimes small things can cause greater damage, so timing does matter more than size because big size if lasts for only few seconds then definitely small size lasting for several minutes would be preferred.

  96. “Bigger is always better” say 99.5% of the women (some, especially in China, very anonymously). 0.5% disagreed….they happen to be ladyboys.

  97. Is it bigger always better?

    HELL YEAH!!!
    Bigger will always make people happier! And we definitely want to be happier!!
    we need to fill all those empty spaces, Got a big grill and a big backyard? Better have bigger meat and sausage to make it look good and plan a bigger party. Got a big cake and only one candle? The bigger the candle the better! and it has to be “ON FIRE” baby! Big mountains with crazy curves? Better get the Biggest truck you can and ride it like you want to die there… haha. A big garage? Get back that truck and make it look small.

    See? we love big things, and bigger… better!

    P.s: It’s OK a big ABC, but I have a bigger D and it comes with a bigger E and a bigger F.

  99. This short essay entitled ‘Is Bigger Always Better?’ will take a brief look at the complexities of popular culture and a quick glimpse at the general consensus of the people in an attempt to answer once and for all such a burning, and I believe extremely important, question.

    Now before I go on, I am aware that the rules of this challenge DICKtate that I should RAM the following with sexual innuendo and vulgarity, but I am from Oxford, England, and we believe such things to be disgusting. However, I shall try my HARDEST to adhere to the guidelines put in place.

    Upon Googling the question in hand, the first article to STAND TO ATTENTION is the following statement. ‘Bigger is not always better for penis size.’ Hmmmm…. I’ll leave that one DANGLING for a while.

    So, what about the big 4? The 4 most crucial aspects of a happy and healthy existence?

    Gifts – A gift in a small box could be a diamond ring; a gift in a large box could be a life-size blow up sex doll. Which is better? Obviously, I’d prefer the sex doll, but many would say jewelry is more to their taste…

    Food – a massive sausage is always nice, but so is a delicate sushi roll…

    Money – A bulging bank account VS a limp, flaccid, empty, shriveled, misshapen, old, leathery wallet – um… duh.

    Alcohol – a long, elegant, perfectly pink COCKtail or a mouth full of tequila that’s hard to swallow? (amIrightgirls?)

    So in trying to answer this question… I think I have just confused myself and potentially you, the reader, even more.

    I never was much good at essay writing.

    Please can I have an iPhone now?

  100. Size is extremely important and minimum standards should be followed but let’s not forget that techniques matter as well fellas.

  104. When answering “is bigger always better”?, I like to keep in mind a piece of advice given to me Mr. Woodcock, my 9th grade geometry teacher. “Remember”, he said, “the angle of my dangle is directly proportional to the heat of my meat”. This adage will stick with me for years to come.

  105. A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and mixed emotions when he turned to his wife and said, ‘Honey, that’s a bunch of crap. I bet you can’t tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time.’

    She said, ‘You have the biggest penis of all your friends.’

  106. I had to think LONG and HARD on this ‘mass-debate’(MASTURBATE) topic to CUM up with an answer that can BLOW PEOPLE away and ERECT myself as the number 1 candidate and ensure that I CUM FIRST and SPANK AWAY the STIFF competition. I decided to make it my MISSIONary to use my CUNNING LINGUIST SKILLS (cunnilingus skills) to create a free flowing answer to the question IN HAND that would just ROLL OF THE TONGUE.

    I was sitting EATING OUT my CREAM PIE and feeling it SLIDE DOWN MY THROAT when all of a sudden, BANG! It CAME ON ME and I felt a WARM SATISFYING SENSATION FLOW THROUGH MY BODY and alas, the answer, one that can imbed (IN BED) itself in the ANNALS of your mind.

    We have to PENETRATE the subject HEAD on and avoid missing any HOLES to form an answer that will SATISFY EVERYONE, ‘BUTT’ it’s not easy to wrestle the winning (G-)SPOT from the TIGHT CHOKEHOLD of so many participants. We must look at the INS-AND-OUTS of the topic and TAKE UP EVERY POSITION to have a well-rounded answer to make sure we don’t come to a PREMATURE CLIMAX.

    We will first THRUST ourselves in the eyes of a woman for which this question aRISES to achieve
    the TIGHTEST GRIP on the subject. But being a man, I had to ask my girlfriend.

    Me: Is bigger always better?
    GF: Hahahaha…. I don’t want to fight tonight.

    So… disheartened and feeling LIMP from this approach… I decided to ENTER THE REAR and allow myself to FANTASISE about being a woman. So going into INCREASING DEPTHS and SLOWLY ENTERING THE TIGHT QUARTERS, I realised that for girls, they like some things bigger; such as their purses, glass of wine at the end of the day, their significant others…. Attention and of course something beginning with ‘P’ and ending with ‘S’….. Phones ;), but there are things they definitely want smaller… stomachs, waists and the calories of their late night supper ;).

    Now we must tuck ourselves into the head of a man; I can only speak for myself when I say I wish I had bigger hands, because… we all know what that leads to… bigger feet, and of course that leads to bigger trousers and pants…. For…. of course! Bigger…. Pockets! to put our phone, wallet and keys.

    Anyway, this is turning into quite an essay so I will cut it short as its getting LONG…RIGOROUS and REPETITIVE. My conclusion is bigger is not always better!… PERIOD! [and that’s why the essay never got going 😉 ]

  108. Bigger is never better – throwing a gumboot down a hallway ins’t fun for either party. Elasticity is up there with eyes, teeth, tits & torso as potential mate attributes of note. Tight & Tidy! Yay!!

  118. I think it’s the eyelids, because if we close the eyelids, we can’t see anything, which means it’s larger than the whole world. Thank you.

  119. I think it’s the eyelids,because if we close the eyelids, we can’t see anything.the mean is the biggest than whole country.

  124. A friend of mine could no longer fit into his jeans and his arse was certainly larger than he wished it could be. While many mocked him he replied “Big hammer…. big nail!”

  125. Sherpa’s asked for something witty
    For their contest this October
    Some people were offended by words like titty
    Despite their use of Cock-tober

    The question posed “is bigger better”
    And my jokes were claimed too churlish
    So another post, but please don’t fretter
    I have cleaner jokes that will flourish

    Two nuns are sitting on a park bench. A flasher walks up to them and exposes himself to them. One has a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach.

  126. Whenever someone asks me what pizza I like:

    “Some of us like it small.
    That’s fine; understandable.
    But I like it big”

  127. China was bigger than any other country in the world when it was in Qing dynasty. But it can hardly say that it was better than those countries where maybe you come from.

  128. I want to try the biggest sherpa
    That the world has ever seen…
    To ring them is my great test
    To riding them is my cause.

    I want to ride him across the land
    Stuffing deep and wide
    Each sherpamon to understand
    The power that’s inside!

    SHERPAMON! (Gotta ride them all) It’s you and me
    I know I can fit you all
    Sherpamon, oh, your my biggest friend
    In a world I find too small.

    SHERPAMON! (Gotta ride them all) with a baguette so large
    My mouth will squeeze you tight,
    You teach me and i’ll teach you!
    SHER-PA-MON Gotta try them all! (Gotta try them all!)

  131. Obviously bigger is almost better.For women,the diamonds bigger is better. For children,lollipop bigger is better.For fat,burger bigger is better.For me,iphone bigger is better~~I want 6 plus !! Sherpas is super great!

  132. Some girls might go home with a guy and say: “Awww isn’t it cute”. He replies: “Hey I’m a grower not a shower”.

    But you shouldn’t get hung-up (pun intended) on the small stuff, eventually size doesn’t matter as technique is more important.

    Men can see a girls capability on how she can handle a large…phone…if she can hold an iPhone6 plus with one hand play candycrush or bubblebobble you know she can handle any size cumming at her.

  135. A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and mixed emotions when he turned to his wife and said, ‘Honey, that’s a bunch of crap. I bet you can’t tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time.’

    She said, ‘You have the biggest penis of all your friends.’

  136. Two brothas pee off a bridge.

    First one says “Damn, this water be cold!”

    The other smiles and replies “Yeah. And deep too!”

    There’s your answer, bigger is better.

  139. oh, you’re all upgrading to the iPhone 6 for that extra inch?
    Hopefully your girl doesn’t do the same…..

  141. is bigger always better? sometimes it is and sometimes it not.
    its good when you have a big plate of hot food to share with friends,family and people in need. Or having a big heart is good. Sometimes having big things doesn’t mean its always good having a big house with one person living the is a big waste especially when other might not even have a place to live.

  142. …’bigger is always better,’ just look at my car and phone and…no not that. I’m not compensating for anything.

  143. This cum-undrum has massively erected a debate in our house-hole this evening. My wife says if the man has a larger than average Big Bamboo it can sometimes hurt her Urban Soup Kitchen. Ayi said if the guy has a humongous Southern Barbarian and he coughs his filthy Nosh into her hair or onto her Hooters it can be like a daddy long legs squatting on a wasp. When asking my 16 year old son he replied “Dad, when mum demands your Captain Rooster thrust into her House of Lasagna do you think of yourself as El Lunchador or Le Petit Canard innit, now F off, I’m trying to burp the worm into my spunk dustbin.”
    After cumming across some alone time, I now stand erect in my bedroom, naked from the waist down, staring down at my own pink pygmy helmet, I am content in the fact that my little prawn-like member has two space hoppers beneath it. Size means nothing unless we are talking balls.

  145. I love the new iPhone 6 in Spacegrey! The awesomeness is incredible. It truly understands my feelings. iPhone 6 in Spacegrey is love. iPhone 6 in Spacegrey is life.

  148. I was cooking for a girl and i gave her a nice piece of pork belly.. and she said.. omg its so big!.. i said never heard you complain about that before… 😉

  149. “It is bigger always better?”
    since it does not warp in your pocket, and not look like a brick,
    is beautiful and great, but not deformed.
    sit on top to straighten.

  150. Bigger is Better. Yes! but not forever
    Coz Your happiness isn’t in the heap of metal that’s on your driveway, or the flashy job title, or the bricks and mortar of your house. It’s within you.

  151. Is bigger always better? This is a question that has had men thinking long and hard about their self worth since they first stood erect and scratched themselves in contemplation. How do they measure up? As I woman, I’ve come multiple times to the conclusion that it’s the workman, not his tools, that matter.

    The smallest and most delicate of screwdrivers, when handled with creativity and skill, can have you gushing with warm feelings for the artisan who is willing to get hands on.

    Other times, the work requires a man willing to put in hours pounding away at the problem. Sure, the average man might feel satisfied with just pumping out something quick and easy before tucking away his equipment and calling it a day, but not the master craftsman! For him, even if he only has a standard tool belt to work with, he will still spend hours feeling the material getting to know every nook and cranny until he finds the sweet spot that with just one touch will transform his work into a thing of mind-shattering beauty and leave you screaming for more.

    Sometimes however, finesse needs to give way to power, this is when it’s time to haul out the heavy equipment and do some damage. Preparation is key here as injury and accidents are common, so be sure all moving parts have been properly lubricated to ensure a pleasant working environment for all involved. Also, keep in mind that even though you’re using a sledgehammer it still might take more than just a few solid taps to get the job done.

    In the end, it is true that there is a tool for every job, so maybe it’s time men stopped wondering if bigger is better because what a woman really wants is a man who knows how to get the most out of what he’s got and keeps his equipment clean and protected!

  153. is bigger always better?
    Well, in terms of smartphones:

    Baby, if you were an iPhone 6 Plus, I would tap you all day! (until you bend) haha

  155. With so many strong and exotic flavors in the deep Sherpa’s repertoire, deciding whether or not something bigger is better can leave one flushed, chest heaving and sweaty. The choice is a challenging position to enter into, requiring you to relax your body while allowing the decision to slide gently into your mind before you can release it with your tongue.

    Are you hungering for the soft Geisha of culinary arts? Should you partake in an order of Sushi and all its carnal offerings? Filling your mouth with a thick roll, engorged with fleshy pink tuna, can stimulate a raw, burning hunger. But perhaps you’d prefer to taste a more curious essence? A thinner roll, with sleek eel wrapped so tightly it easily slides down your throat, may be what you’re craving.

    Or is it your fantasy to endure the strict discipline of a German meal as it punishes your pallet? Sausages of all size and color will slowly be covered with hot mash. Be sure to lick the buttery spatzle off your lips when you’ve finished swallowing the full girth of the bratwurst, if you can stomach a banger of such size.

    What would an orgy of options be without an Italian zest? A creamy white gelato would coat your tongue as you lick it again and again. Or you could let your hands and lips do the work as you bury your face in a delicious pie. Its sauce is sweet and runs down your chin, but you’re too ravenous to stop.

    You don’t have to drop much Dong for a Vietnamese experience. Grasp the Pandan meatballs softly in their basket as you slowly suck the long pho noodle into your mouth. The earthy flavors will have you erect in your seat.

    Is it a spicy Latin heat that makes you salivate? Your fingers will be dripping with juices as you allow yourself to savor the lustful aromas of a petite and beautiful taco. If you remain unspent, thrust your massive churro into the warm chocolate goodness as the feast reaches its climax.

    No, what you want is a thick, juicy patty of meat, still pink at its center. You want to grasp the smooth buns, squeezing them strongly between your fingertips as your teeth penetrate deeply into the hotness of this arousing sandwich. You want to take it in, inch by inch, until it is fully inside you.

    And with that you place your order. The anticipation builds as you wait for this mysterious rider. Just as the tension inside you is about to erupt, you hear him thunder up on his bike. He rumbles to a stop and approaches your door. Very few words are exchanged. There is just a knowing look as he unloads the contents of his enormous sack upon you. Afterwards you thank him and hand him the money, because after all, he does this for a living. Then he is off into the night.

    So is bigger better? It depends on your food fetish and how much it takes to fill you. But we know the answer when it comes to menus. Sherpa’s is long and thick with offerings, but not so robust it you can’t take the whole thing in. After all, if it bulged any greater, you’d never finish, and spend your whole night hunched over your computer screen…….

  156. Is bigger always better? For the answer to that we must ask all the vaginas. Wow, if only vaginas could talk! Oh what stories men would still not listen to!

  157. I asked this question to two old ladies sitting on the bench in the park. The first one immediately had a stroke, the other one’s arms were too short to reach.

  158. “Girl (or dude), if you gorge yourself on something so big each time, yours will be stretched like a roast beef rag. For the taker, it’s not better when yours is bigger. How will you fill yourself anymore?”

    “Well sister, no matter how big my appetite stretches, Sherpa’s always hit the spot and fill me to the brim when they deliver their delicious loads to my cavernous home, all in a timely manner.

    I am lovin’ it so much I always squeeze my box for leftovers, which are saved in my cooler cavity…I mean fridge. Would you like some?”

  159. My girlfriend tells me no, but then I found out the baseball bat beside the bed isn’t for protection and the lube in the night stand isn’t for my enjoyment.

  160. JONY IVE’S FIRST NIGHT WITH THE IPHONE 6 PLUS

    It was a cool autumn day in October as Jony fingered his latest love, the iPhone 6 Plus. He’d spent months thinking about it, and now that it was finally in his hands he quivered with excitement.

    “I bet America’s so different from where you grew up in Shenzhen,” he offered as he peered deeply into its 1.2 megapixel front-facing camera.

    “Ooooh,” he crooned, “and your Lightning port is so much tighter than my ex-phone’s proprietary 30-pin connector. I can slide into you from any angle.” Siri purred to life: “DID YOU ASK: WHAT IS THE WEATHER?” Jony smiled coyly. “I love when you talk dirty to me.” It had been a torrid, long-distance love affair since Jony ditched his old lover, iPhone 4, and tonight for the first time Jony had spent hours training Plus to recognize every one of his fingers’ unique Touch IDs, bringing himself closer and closer to fruition.

    He grasped its impeccably machined unibody aluminum exterior and moaned gently as he stroked the on switch. “I can’t take it, your hard body is so perfect.” Siri whispered back, all-too-compliantly: “OK, I’VE DELETED YOUR 6:30AM ALARM.” Jony groaned with pleasure.

    Jony flipped the notification switch and gasped as the iPhone 6 Plus vibrated against his body. “Siri, play ‘Sexual Healing.'” As the dulcet tones of Al Jazeera morning news poured out of its stereo speakers, Jony slipped a silicone cover over Plus. “There, now we’re safe.”

    He gently cupped 6 Plus. “God, you’re so big. I can barely put you in my pocket and I can’t even reach across your screen with one hand…” he trailed, slapping the 5.5 inch diagonal, 401 PPI screen against his face and letting out a giggle.

    “I’m so close! Just keep doing that,” as 6 Plus automatically synced his pics to iCloud. “I’m going to come all over your Retina Display!” Jony screamed as the iPhone 6 sat motionless, shutting off its screen in preparation for his climax.

    “Ahhh, yeaaah. You’re the best iPhone ever.”

  162. Ode to the 6

    Shall I compare thee to a massive [prick]?
    Thou art more handsome and more princely.
    Long members are fearsome and long to lick,
    And often are massive [sticks] in short supply.
    Sometimes too big that mighty head of shaft,
    Breadth too vast, for a lady knows her limit.
    From man to hand varies from hand or craft,
    By nature, by chance, but always I remit.
    For your monumental size shall not shrink,
    Nor shall your owner swagger in stride,
    Nor shall you lose your hugeness after drink,
    When eternally in my hand you reside.
    So long as hands can type, or eyes can see,
    So long lives this, and this gives you to me.

  163. “Sometimes Things Are Better Small (or How Sherpas and Lady Minaj Defy Gravity)”

    Sometimes things are better small…

    if you’re in the business of selling balloons, you don’t want inflation to grow- that would be a blow
    or if you’re a prostitute and a leper just told you to keep the tip- hopefully it isn’t big
    and if the soap in your shower keeps getting bigger, you better hope you’re not a leper

    Its no secret that getting too big for your britches will eventually expose you in the end, but this seems to not be a problem for Sherpas and Nicki Minaj, because somehow, defying logic and gravity, the bigger your booty the better the hits.

    Exhibit A: http://sherpasisbigger.tumblr.com/

  164. Last night, as we devoured yet another pile of Sherpa-schlepped Bubba’s I told my boyfriend about the iPhone 6 Plus contest. His Smallness responds with “Hey, I got yer 6 right HERE,” as he clutches a handful of air in his pants. That’s him, dutifully displaying the humor of a 12-year-old Tony Soprano – with the pelvic feature to prove it. Sure, he’s got 6…if we are talking centimeters.

    So…Sherpa’s, you want to know if Bigger is Better? Hell yeah it is. And not just in THAT way, although I fervently wish Mr. Angry Inch could slip me something Bigger than a roll of one mao for our games of hide the sausage (more like stash the string bean). Anyway, Bigger is Better must be the mantra of anyone like me living in Shanghai. Let’s look at my sorry-ass life: I live in a box that an American would use as a broom closet; the space I cram into on the metro each morning would make a gerbil claustrophobic; I may have been impregnated on the elevator at work the other day – doing a job for which I receive a microscopic paycheck, by the way; and finally, I hate to dwell on it, but as mentioned before, my man’s anatomy would not inspire envy in a Shih Tzu. So, yes, a Bigger apartment, paycheck and boyfriend would definitely be Better.

    But there’s something else I’d really like to make Bigger, since I use it all day, every day. My diminutive iPhone 3, with the cracked screen and 5 years of dim sum crumbs embedded into its creases, is ready for some, shall we say, enhancement. Well, more to the point, as with my girth-challenged boyfriend, I’m thinking a total replacement is the only way to go. Yes, something Bigger would definitely be Better. So, please, Mr. Sherpa, I’ll be very happy to receive YOUR 6 Plus.

    Really Big Thanks,
    Vera

  165. If Barney Stinson were to answer you, he’d say “Yes, of course, bigger is better as it is… Bang-lloween”

  166. Bigger is better? Of course not! Smallest is the best. They know how to use it. All my girl friends agree. It’s the universal truth.

    *ok, i’m really an asian guy*

  167. A limerick!
    There once was a girl named Molly
    Who ate from dusk to her folly
    It was size that she wanted
    And as a girl never daunted
    When Sherpa’s arrived happy was she!

    Prose!
    Satisfaction can not always come from my own hands. We sweat, we labor all our lives for what? For more. More than what my own hands can provide, I need the pleasure of something bigger, of something better.

    Could I suffice with 9 inches of solidness, I might ask Mr. Holmes in his Bikini. If only he could be delivered.

    But no, not tonight, at least 12 inches of solid hedonism, enough to drive me crazy not once, but twice crazy, or Dos Locos as they say.

    I’m thinking of the meat that could please me. Or the bursting ripe redness of it all, cut into pico de gallo, so as not to overwhelm. I want it big, and I want it to burn. Spicy as you can make it baby.

    Deliver it over, and over Sherpas… that big burrito, the only thing that satiate my appetites.

    He shoes up at the door, wearing halloween colors, black and orange. Like a prison jump suit, should I invite him in to play my prisoner? Probably not, he has something that I want more. He opens his flap, this is how it’s supposed to be, he has the right address.

    He gives. I pay. I eat. It is dinner. And it is done, bigger and better as it should be.

    Too serious:
    No Cheap Small Thrills
    

    Feel graced by the electric whip
    tangled ’bout your waist
    A greedy smile is all I give
    For its you now I may forever taste

    Laugh at my drollery, my simple jests
    don my skin, press upon me your ripe supple..tests
    Make sure the snakes see it
    And feed their vesuvian envies

    Not just a stroll through this garden
    where it is always bigger
    where it is always better
    I’ll take you out of your hideout

    Come to me man in orange and black
    Find your way through streets and boroughs
    To my nest, wherein I wait
    A cherry is all I need, a small fee?

    Tomarrow morning I’ll remember my chanting
    It was good. It was good. It was better.
    Feed me again on the morrow
    And make it bigger than before
    and not some cheap love

    Funny:

    I need a phone
    I need a delivery
    Throw me a bone
    I’ll even wear livery

    Bigger is Better?
    Is what they ask!
    It most certainly is
    Right down to the letter 😉

    Unless of course
    You fall down from a horse
    Breaking that wrist
    With terrible force

    This poem is so awful
    I’ll finish this quickly
    So I can eat my falafel!

    Happy halloween everyone. Thanks Sherpas!

  168. Bigger is always better…it is true I hear. It has been a dry patch but the rain is suddenly here. Halloween night is now in sight – tis the biggest night of the year. With an iphone 6, I would nicely sit with a large Sherpa’s order intransit to lift me into Halloween bliss. My Sherpa’s hero would deliver without a quiver or shiver to my humble abode. With a smile and a nod, my hero would depart and leave me in Halloween pigging out goodness. My dry patch is over. My lover comes over to help me butter my muffin. I grab his ripe banana and this makes him tremble. Tonight is the night for whipped cream galore. I discover through said banana that bigger is the best of all. The biggest night of the year but never fear – Sherpa’s is here!

  169. 12 inches of love, 12 inches of ash,
    12 inches of love, 12 inches of honey.
    king of dreams, slave of fantasy,
    a mountain of your fancy,
    a giant of glutony,
    never ask why one chooses bigger,
    larger size is just simpler.

  170. The assumption poem

    There once was a young lady, who played by the docks,
    With handsome young men, handling their….rocks

    The guys gathered round her, it was like a raid,
    It was as if all they wanted, was to get… paid

    For the young lady, it could not get much better,
    Down by the docks, only getting much wetter,

    But it then went all downhill around half past four,
    People started to gossip, said she was a…. bore

    She sat down to think, on the short green grass,
    Before packing her things, and hiding her….hats.

    All she wanted, was to read her book,
    But the guys went crazy, and wanted to…. Cook,

    If youre asking is bigger better, whats this poem got to do?
    If you thought this was dirty, then a big F YOU!

  171. To give an innuendo filled answer to the mass-debate topic of “is bigger always better?”, we must take up all positions and ensure all areas are covered. I believe an oral competition would better satisfy the answer, as we are able to warm up the mind through anticipation and stimulation and delivery. But with a written essay, we must delve straight into it without warming up and exercising all areas; which can be painful for some, but I will go slowly and gently to make sure people do not turn off.

    So straight into it, bigger is not always better!

Comments are closed.